


Akathisia

by Megumi



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Eventual Romance, M/M, Medical Conditions, rhink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-11 11:35:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 31,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8978068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megumi/pseuds/Megumi
Summary: It is usually Link who gags and retches on set. This time the tables have turned.———Akathisia: A movement disorder characterized by a feeling of inner restlessness and a compelling need to be in constant motion.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not worry, please. There will be no serious injuries or permanent damage in this fic. Akathisia is undoubtedly a serious condition in some cases, but it can also be a passing side effect.

"Rhett, are you okay?"

Stevie's voice rarely sounded this worried. Generally, she has been the calm and collected one throughout the recording; it was her job, after all. Today, however, she was hardly the chill one. She turned off the camera and shushed Mike and Alex who darted towards the table; she got there first. That is, first in line after Link, who held Rhett by his shoulders and almost toppled him in the signature "dead" move, as if he didn't know any other way of telling Rhett he was there.

"Nauseated", was the concise answer to Stevie's question, coming from Rhett in between the bouts of dry heaving. It wasn't hard to notice how he corrected his grammar so meticulously — it probably started after one episode of GMM in which Link teased him mercilessly for all the common mistakes Rhett occasionally slipped into. After that, it was no longer _"nauseous"_ , only "nauseated".

It was ridiculous to be on the set of Good Mythical Morning today. Doubly so, because it was usually Link who retched and gagged while Rhett laughed and tried to pep talk him through the happy tears. When it really was so bad that Rhett had to catch his barf bucket, it never lasted for longer than a couple of seconds. In the end, Rhett was the tougher of the duo, his kryptonites being only liver and maple syrup.

"You look like a ghost. I'll call an ambulance", Stevie said with a look of intense panic on her face.

"I'll drive him myself", Link cut her off and rubbed Rhett's shoulder. "Hey, man, do you think you can walk to the car?"

Rhett thought about it for a second and slowly nodded: "Yeah, I think I can manage. But no bumps or speeding."

"No worries", Link nodded as he helped prop Rhett up and nudged him towards the door. "Guys, could you mark where we sat? Maybe we can roll back to that tomorrow. Take the rest of the day off after that."

The looks on the crew's faces were all understanding and sympathetic. It truly was an extraordinary happenstance, and Link indeed felt gratitude for the wonder of all the people they worked with. His mind, however, was now occupied with Rhett's increasing shakiness and unsteady gait.

"'Think about it, I won't get to the door without a bucket", Rhett admitted after a few more steps. His stature really didn't allow Link to support him properly, and there was no question of carrying Rhett around.

"Sit in an office chair, we'll roll you to the car. Fetch his bucket", Stevie reacted, evidently having gathered herself. "Link, can you go bring it to the door, so that we don't have to bump him through the parking lot?"

"Done", Link exhaled, as an immense wave of relief washed over him: he hated to be in the position of active control when he had to think about something else. He was not a multitasker.

He allowed Chase and Mike to take over Rhett and bolted towards the door. Surprisingly enough, his car keys were in his back pocket, along with his phone and wallet (today must have been a truly unusual day).

Stevie's plan worked, albeit not without consequences: Rhett was slowly getting to the point of turning his entire GI tract inside out and into the bucket, as Link took off from the parking lot. His first instinct was to go as fast as he could through the LA traffic, but one look at Rhett's slightly greenish face and his vigorous tremors made him reconsider. Instead, he drove gingerly.

"Can you talk?" Link asked after a few minutes of silence. He could only throw small glances at Rhett as he drove, an accident being the last thing they needed right now. "Tell me how you feel".

"Horrible", Rhett growled. "I'm puking my guts out. What was in that stuff anyway?"

"I don't know, the guys swore it was all safe."

"What, boiled..." Rhett didn't finish the iconic phrase and instead crouched over his bucket once again. A minute later he raised his head and exhaled in a much weaker tone that made Link gulp nervously. "I feel dizzy".

Link could almost tell his hair stood on end. Having not expected to feel this worried, he swerved on the road and sped up a little. Only a minute later did he discover that he was frantically repeating: "Hey, Rhett, talk to me, don't drift off. I'm here, just talk to me, brother".

Rhett groaned: "You jerk, I'm not fainting. That's your thing".

"Good", Link exhaled as he made a turn and drove into the hospital's parking lot. He looked at Rhett quickly to see if he noticed just how carefully Link made that turn, almost stopping the car in the process and going over the speed bump very slowly. Rhett sat there with his eyes closed, but Link could tell that his lips twitched into a crooked smile. That was good enough for now, with all the green-ness of his face.

Link parked as close to the entrance to the Urgent Care as he could and sighed. "Hey, man, I have to get out and call someone with a wheelchair or something".

"I'll walk", Rhett said all of a sudden, his voice back at its usual strength again. "Don't need no wheelchair".

Of course, it didn't happen so quickly: it took Link good ten minutes to help Rhett move his legs and position his feet on the ground, throw his arms around Link's shoulders and then stand up — as the whole ordeal got punctuated by bouts of severe dry heaving and straight up vomiting, which by this point resulted in nothing but tiny portions of water that Rhett sipped on set this morning.

The walk to the admissions desk took them about half an hour more.

***

Link nervously paced the hallway, looking at the Grinch that Rhett turned into, with his face getting more and more contorted, his palms grasping at the shirt around the stomach. Link tried to get attention of any of the doctors for about four hours now, but it took a nurse who happened to be a Mythical Beast to finally get Rhett hurled into a room five hours after they arrived at the hospital. After that, however, they only waited for about fifteen more minutes until a young resident arrived.

"We can give you a pill called Compazine for nausea", she said after a short survey of Rhett's condition. "And it's probably a good idea for you to stay a few hours and receive IV fluids. I will send some labs to check if you've got an infection, too, Mr. McLaughlin".

Link looked at Rhett's face, knowing full well he probably only heard the first part about the pill that would stop him from puking his guts out. The words did register with him, though, and Link was fully resolved to stay at Rhett's side.

"Thank you".

"Mr. Neal, you probably want to step out while they take the blood sample?" the resident winked as he stood there, dumbfounded and taken aback by her sudden shrewdness. Link wanted to ask how she knew, but the girl just shrugged. "Don't worry, vagal reactions are very common — I mean, fainting after seeing blood. Oh, and GMM got me through med school".

Link coughed a little, wishing with all his heart to not blush in reaction to meeting all these Mythical Beasts in the most unexpected place. "Uh... thank you. So Rhett's going to be okay, right?"

"It's too early to tell, but the drug should help with his nausea, and after the labs come back, we will know for sure if he needs antibiotics", the doctor shrugged and signed off pretty quickly. Link looked at Rhett, who remained silent throughout this conversation. The green in his face did turn a bit more red, though, and Link took a wild guess.

"You embarrassed that she saw you in such bad shape?"

"Kinda, yeah", Rhett answered after he checked that they were alone. "Gosh, we must really be getting famous. That nurse, now my doctor?"

"I guess we are, bo. It's no big deal. I'm sure they've seen a lot more celebs in much worse shape, Rhett, it's LA, after all", Link tried to calm him down and then accelerated into a fast spiel: "I should really step out and update Jessie, she's going crazy over in Carolina. Oh, and I heard them say that once they take some blood, they will give you the pill, and this whole puking thing theoretically stops within like twenty minutes of that".

He saw another half-hearted smile dash across Rhett's lips. That was enough to gather his thoughts. Link walked out of the room with a nod to the nurse.

Only in the hallway did he allow himself plop down on a bench. Rhett really worried him sometimes with all the bravado that he put on in public — doubly so when Rhett's competitive streak and fragile masculinity forced him into not showing his weaknesses even when they were alone.

Link pulled out his phone and called Jessie up. He hung up before she managed to answer, just as he realized he was too exhausted to talk. Instead, he typed a short: "Rhett's fine, gonna stay here for a few hours just to stay on the safe side. I'll arrange a call with him later."

The text was sent, and Link really didn't have much to do. Yet he lingered. He was frightened always to see Rhett hurt, and it drove him insane to be useless.

His phone blinked twice. The first text was from Jessie.

_"Thanks for the good news. And thanks for staying with him."_

_"He hates hospitals"_ , Link wanted to remind her, but erased the whole thing. Jessie knew Rhett, maybe even better than he himself did. He doubted it often. Link took a deep breath and typed again: _"I want to make sure he is okay and tease him later"._

There. Much more along the line of the general perception of their friendship, the brotherhood they constructed over the years for the world to envy. Making fun of each other's ailments was somehow more acceptable for male friends than actually taking the time to care and express the wish to help. Link never quite grasped that concept, but Rhett taught him to hide it. Taught by example.

Jessie didn't respond to his text, and Link checked the other one. Stevie.

_"Is he okay?"_

_"Gonna be fine. Maybe getting out of here in a few hours"._

_"Good. Keep me posted"._

Link felt gratitude wash over him once again: this type of text, calm and devoid of any signs of panic, was just what he needed. He turned off his screen and looked up at the nurse who walked out of the room.

"I gave him the Compazine", the nurse smiled. "Mr. McLaughlin should be feeling better soon".

Link entered the room. He instantly knew, that Rhett was definitely not feeling better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my first rhink fics (not fics in general though), so I hope you like it. I have followed Rhett and Link's work since about 2012, and I guess it was bound to happen, with all my fandom experience. Feel free to leave comments and critique, as this hasn't been beta read (yet?).


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh my gosh, Rhett!" Link lunged at the bed the second he saw Rhett shaking and sweating profusely. He certainly looked worse, even if he no longer clutched the fabric of the gown at the level of his ribcage as before.

Rhett twitched and threw his arm out, nearly hitting Link at the head. Link caught his palm almost instinctively, blocking the blow.

"Man, talk to me. What's happening?!" Link pleaded, his eyes glued to Rhett's tense face.

"I don't know".

Throughout the years of their friendship, there was hardly more than a handful of times Link saw Rhett scared. This time, he witnessed Rhett horrified. The words were too solemn, too grave for anything that could be shrugged off; it was no longer playful "head in an aquarium with snakes", no longer the pain from a Carolina Reaper.

Link clutched the rails at the side of the hospital bed, too afraid to touch Rhett anymore. Paralyzed, he damned his nature that forced him to stay still and aghast whenever a crushing wave of anxiety gulped him whole. He watched Rhett turn on his side and shut his eyes tight, mumbling something inaudibly and then whispering.

"Can't breathe and have to breathe deep. I need to move".

Link shook his head, slowly emerging from the depth of his own worry. Rhett didn't seem to be in pain, and his words resonated in Link's head for a while. He knew exactly how it felt, to be caught in the spiral of gasping for air and being unable to catch any of it into the lungs. It sounded like an anxiety attack. However, the last part didn't really hit close to home. There was something weird about those words. Moving wasn't a part of the deal with a panic attack.

As if in slow motion, Link followed Rhett with his gaze, as the tall shell that Rhett appeared to look like stood up and started pacing the room far too quickly even for his usual cheerful self. Minutes passed by, and Link still couldn't bring himself to step up to him. He unclasped the rails finger by finger and raised his head, and finally made a move towards Rhett, who kept walking. Link did it at exactly the right time, nearing Rhett and catching him as Rhett's body went limp.

"You're heavy", Link observed absentmindedly, as he held Rhett by the waist. "What's happening?"

"I can't stay in one place", Rhett articulated meekly and looked into Link's eyes. "I need to do something".

"You are barely holding up, brother. Let's get you back to bed?" Link asked, surprised at his own begging tone.

"I won't lay down".

"You need to", Link tried to reason with him, and then it hit him. "Just talk to me. Talking is moving, right? Moving your mouth... hole".

"Yeah", Rhett agreed and tried to take a step, but failed miserably. They struggled to move in concert and ended up on the floor, tangled in a mess of Rhett's long arms and Link's slim body. "Sorry".

"It... it's okay. Just talk to me", Link gulped audibly and felt Rhett's body trembling, thighs and knees twitching and jerking. "Tell me how you feel".

"I thought I was gonna die. Not kidding. Now I feel like it's slowing down, but still kinda like dying. White lights, everything", Rhett said in a muffled voice, trying to get up and falling back onto Link's chest. "Glad you're here with me".

"Pulling the 'I'm dead' move for real, huh", Link joked awkwardly, looking up at him. He couldn't help but notice how tired Rhett looked, just as he did after shooting 'Buddy System'. "Let's try to move you back to bed".

Rhett agreed without a hint of enthusiasm, and slowly they managed to get back at their feet. Link was careful this time to hold onto the bed as he supported Rhett's weight. He only heard himself talk after Rhett was already in bed.

"...so I know how you feel. For real. Panic attacks, man, they are the worst. I never had the urge, you know, to move, but the rest of it... Bo, it's horrible. I'm sorry you feel that. But it's gon' be okay, I promise".

He saw Rhett piercing him with his eyes, exhausted but attentive. Link slowly reached and grabbed the remote with the nurse call button, and just as he did so, Rhett followed his arm with his gaze. That was the last thing Link wanted, but now there was no way of backing out of this. Rhett finally saw just how much blood gushed out of his blown IV.

"They have to take care of it", Link murmured. "And I want to ask them just why this happened".

Rhett's lips stretched into an unpleasant smile as he lauged hoarsely. "Man, who knew GMM was so dangerous. All that just from some nausea".

"Hey, it's not just some nausea. It was awful", Link protested. They couldn't quite finish the conversation, as the nurse rushed into the room with a horde of doctors.

Link was hauled out and told to return in a few minutes, right after someone checked that all the blood on his shirt came from Rhett. He hated the thought of being away from Rhett now, but, on the other hand, he did feel dizzy from seeing all that mess.

Sitting in the hallway, he pulled out his phone and stared at the screen. His fingers ran against the virtual keyboard, as he didn't even realize that he typed in: _'panic attack need to move'_.

Google gave him a long stare back into the abyss of all the results from various blogs that he himself visited many times. What happened with Rhett, though, was certainly not a type of thing that could appear there. Link thought harder and added another word to his search: _'Compazine'_. Logically, it started after they gave Rhett the pill, so possibly it could be something... like a side effect. A really bad one.

This time, Google didn't let him down. A whole sea of people leaving reviews and opinions on what they felt after having taken this pill, a slew of medical articles and research, and a Wikipedia article titled 'Akathisia'. It was indeed just what happened to Rhett, and just by reading a couple of descriptions from ER patients, Link felt like fainting. If Rhett felt like that, then... then no wonder he started being morbid.

Link dry heaved at the thought of his best friend overcoming this 'sense of impending doom' combined with the urge to do anything just to get out of anywhere. It seemed impossibly bad, even if it didn't last long. Link's own worry started to turn slowly into anger. Why did these people let something like that happen? Why wasn't anyone around Rhett if they knew this could happen? Why was he there and not a person who could save Rhett?

He wandered back into the room and stared at the resident girl. She didn't even seem worried.

"So it's called akathisia, right?" he asked, feeling his throat drying at the very thought of this awful word.

"Yes. It's a common side effect. Sorry we didn't catch that earlier, but it's not dangerous or anything", the girl chimed in response as she fixed Rhett's IV and patted his arm. "We gave him some beta-blockers, it will pass in just a few minutes".

Rhett looked at her, his eyes weary and dreadful. Coarsely, he coughed and spat out: "You don't know what it is if it's 'not dangerous' to you".

"It is not life-threatening is what I meant, Mr. McLaughlin. I'm sorry you had to go through that", she corrected herself with not a particularly sympathetic look. And then she made it worse by awkwardly laughing it off with a "At least it's not a Carolina Reaper".

Link barely held himself together from pushing her out of the room. She was not allowed to mention their comedy, their creativity in this setting, not like that for sure. Nobody was, actually. Their YouTube careers were completely separate from their lives, and certainly from their health issues, even if they did acknowledge their existence. Laughing about someone's illnesses was beyond unbelievably butthole-y. 

Link clenched his fists and looked at her angrily. "I would like to ask you to step out. Possibly provide another doctor".

He only caught a glimpse of it, but Rhett did smile at him with appreciation.

 _"I got your back, bo"_ , Link thought to himself, and didn't even flinch at what came to his mind next. _"I love you, after all"_.


	3. Chapter 3

The doctor was out in less then a second, storming out as if she was the one in the right to get offended. Link turned his head to look at her figure and just sighed. "Man, that was stupid".

Rhett scoffed: "Yeah, of her". There was a long awkward pause that reminded Link of their childhood, of all those times when he would say something not quite 'mature' enough to Rhett's taste, and they would sit in silence for what seemed to be hours. He remembered how he slipped a few times into acknowledging his love for Rhett a few times. One of them on camera during GMM.

It did feel unnerving to think that he never blushed after saying those words; his blush always came from Rhett's clumsy attempts at turning everything into joke or a pretense machismo conversation about how they would never... never — what?

"Thank you", Rhett said to break the silence. Link flinched, as if it didn't just break but shatter. "For getting her out of my face. She did say I could go home after this IV is over".

"How are you feeling?" Link asked. He still could not bring himself to sit by Rhett's side. It would be too intimate for them to share personal space on top of what little emotional bonding Rhett could handle with the whole supporting and carrying his body around. For that reason, Link stayed where he was and just looked at Rhett's tired face.

"Better. No longer want to die, no more puking", Rhett smiled, and it was all Link needed, really. Just to know that Rhett was alright. It was always his way of indulging the hidden desire of being next to Rhett and making him smile, these moments of witnessing his best friend's wellness. Link never allowed this craving to be verbalized even in his mind.

"Bet you are hungry", he said instead of something encouraging or flattering. "Do you have anything at home?"

"Nah, Jessie left the fridge empty. We are flying tomorrow morning, so I thought of having some take out", Rhett admitted, watching the IV slowly drip into the tube.

"I just thought that maybe you should stay at our place tonight. We can take a cab to LAX in the morning together then", Link offered. He hid the true meaning behind the benign and logical proposal, the one that flickered like a candle light at the back of his mind, having been burning for more than thirty years now. The truth was that Link wanted to care for Rhett, to do it openly, and possibly to have some of it reciprocated.

_"Dammit, Linkster, you can't even say it normally to yourself"_ , he cursed at the convoluted phrasing inside his own head. All of a sudden, he heard Rhett smile through his weariness.

"You know, it sounds like a really great idea. At least I'll have someone pass me the barf bucket if this repeats. Thanks, bo".

"Any time, brother", Link replied. The wise version of himself that recognized the feelings much better only sighed at the pang in his heart that was at times too sensitive to the word _'brother'_. Because to Link, their love was not entirely fraternal.

***

"Chinese?" Link offered, pulling out of the hospital's parking lot. Rhett was sitting next to him, looking so fresh as if nothing happened that day. In fact, Link looked probably more tired than Rhett at this point.

"Sure thing", Rhett agreed, stretching his legs and closing his eyes in a dreamy manner. "Man, I'm hungry".

"Can imagine. Hey, call Jessie, she must be losing her mind", Link reminded him, now not taking his eyes off the road. In his mind, he silently admitted that partly it was because he couldn't bear the weight of knowing that Rhett was going to be next to him for significantly longer than he expected. Originally, they were planning to fly back to North Carolina for the holidays and not talk to each other throughout the whole hiatus, just as they always did; originally, Link would have had a peace of mind for the few hours before seeing Rhett on the plane and then parting again for a long time.

Now everything was different, and the thoughts that Link hid and repressed were now emerging yet again.

"I will, yeah. One thing, though, Link", Rhett's voice sounded very serious all of a sudden. "I don't want to tell her about this whole aka... what was it again?"

"Akathisia. Why?" Link gulped at the bad sensation that stirred his insides. He knew Rhett too well to not anticipate what he would be about to say. Something macho again, something about it being a weakness, him being the man of the house, and all that bullcrap that kept pouring out of Rhett whenever they had a moment like this, with the dynamics shifted or disturbed ever so slightly.

"You know... I don't want to worry her more than necessary. Besides, I would sound like a cry baby. Not gonna give her an opportunity of teasing me", Rhett shrugged. Link's temples buzzed with the annoyance and immense twinges of pain shot through his chest as he realized that he felt offended. After all, he did let his guard down when he let Rhett in on his intimate knowledge of what a panic attack was. He told him what he felt like, that he had it. Having Rhett tell him that it was a weakness was not unexpected, but nonetheless painful.

"Do as you wish", Link said in a tired voice, only later noticing how bitter he sounded. He darted his gaze at Rhett, but he seemed to not have noticed neither the tone nor the quick glance, too busy calling up his wife.

"Hey, Jess, it's me. I'm fine, just puked my guts out for a few hours, but nothing serious, no infection or anything. Guess it must be all the stress. Yeah, I will go to the doctor once we're back", Rhett mimicked his wife's tone and grimaced to Link. "I'm actually gonna stay at Neals' tonight, mother Theresa here is worried. Tell the boys good night from me, okay? I'll see you tomorrow. Love you too, baby".

As he hung up the phone, Link clutched the steering wheel tight with his fingers. When did he start reacting to that phrase again? It hasn't bothered him for years to hear Rhett address his wife with sentimental talk. Link even thought that the whole emotional situation was just plain confusion stemming from his own teenage insecurities back in high school and in college. Evidently, it wasn't. He audibly sighed as he parked next to the restaurant's sign.

"What's up?" Rhett looked at him more attentively this time. "You tired?"

"A bit, yeah. Could you grab me some orange chicken? I'm afraid if I go out there, I'll lose all incentive to drive home", Link asked. He knew full well that walking somewhere together with Rhett would mess him up even more.

"Okay", Rhett shrugged and got out of the car. He seemed as if it wasn't him earlier in the day, coughing, vomiting, trembling out of fear for his own life.

Link followed him with his gaze and let his forehead fall onto the steering wheel. He closed his eyes and begged his own mind to stop the race of suggestions that popped up like daisies from under the snow. In the spontaneous world of his imagination, he and Rhett were able to talk to each other openly. Oh how Link wished for a Christmas miracle right now.

His wish might have even come true, have Rhett not returned to the car looking pale and breathless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos! I hope you enjoy the continuation of this story.


	4. Chapter 4

"Rhett!" Link couldn't help being barely articulate, jumping out of the car at the very sight of Rhett towering over the passenger seat door.

"It's that damn thing", Rhett coarsely whispered. "Again".

And before Link knew it, he was gripped tightly, pressed against Rhett's chest in the tightest, least _friendly_ of a hug that they ever shared. Rhett was shaking so shallowly that were Link not squeezed in his bear hug, he would have never guessed it; the heart in Rhett's chest was threatening to break free. Link felt his own heartbeat race Rhett's, and he held his breath for the longest time in eternity as it slowly dawned upon him that this desperate grip was not the time for him to relish the moment of intimacy.

Nonetheless, good fifteen seconds passed before Link managed to whisper in a muffled voice: "I can't breathe".

Rhett's arms loosened ever so lightly, just to let Link slip backwards enough to inhale. He closed his eyes to suck in all the scents: the alcohol swabs, the faint touch of latex from the hospital, the hint of Rhett's own scent, his deodorant and the illness that taken over him today. The smell was not unpleasant.

Link couldn't know it, but Rhett felt the same way, letting his nose fall in between the hair on top of Link's head, imbibing his shampoo, a breeze of mint, the tiniest bit of deodorant, and Link's incredulous worry that somehow seemed to seep through his pores.

They kept the embrace until Link finally gathered himself enough to ask: "Isn't there supposed to be an urge to move?"

"You ground me", Rhett sounded surprised and, at the same time, content. His tone was still a bit airy, as if the bout of anxiety still hasn't left him completely. He spoke slowly. "It's gone".

Link pushed himself away to raise his gaze and stare into Rhett's eyes. He didn't even notice how his eyebrows crawled up to his forehead. "No way, man. Isn't it... weird?"

Rhett held Link's hand against his wrist to show the pulse. "It is, but it worked".

The eye contact somehow was even more awkward now. Both men tried to avert their gaze, shuffling their feet in a subconscious attempt to find a way to make this all seem less of a lightning-esque bolt of understanding. Finally, Link made a step back and smiled goofily: "Well, I'm glad that's over. Did you manage to get the food?"

"Yeah", Rhett was audibly relieved by the casual tone that his best friend gave him as sort of a copout. 

"Good. Then let's get home... I mean, to my house". Link walked around the car and got back behind the wheel. Rhett followed, crouching onto the passenger seat and throwing a bag with food behind their backs.

As Link turned onto the freeway, he heard a noise coming from Rhett's seat. It was not something he ever thought he would hear from Rhett, but there it is: a whimper so weak Rhett sounded like a puppy in the rain. He was fidgeting like one, too, his thighs shaking yet again, hands locking into fists and relaxing in a rhythm Link couldn't quite place anywhere. His chest got all of a sudden squeezed by the immense wish to protect Rhett, to be the strong one for him, and Link immediately thought that it couldn't mean anything good. Not for their lives, not for anything they've built so carefully over the years. Not for their masculine pictures and signature handshakes.

"Bo", Link asked, his throat dry and shutting tight at the remnants of the sound. "Bo, you alright?"

"It comes in waves", Rhett squealed from his seat, pressed into the cushions as if he was trying to hide. He was impossibly tiny right now, shrunk to be a shard of all of his confidence. "Apparently".

"Want me to pull over?"

There was a silence in the car while Rhett pondered. Link knew it by heart, this moment of concentration. It was not awkward or tense for them to just keep quiet between each other. It has been this way forever.

"Keep going", finally Rhett said, now in a full voice. The loudness of his voice made Link believe for some reason that all was well. He kept driving them towards the house, the road so well known he could probably do it blindfolded. The road was almost empty at this hour, and he used this opportunity to reach and squeeze Rhett's shoulder with his fingers momentarily.

"We'll eat. Then you will sleep it off. And in the morning, it's gon' be gone", he assured Rhett, even though his own temples were about to explode with sullen unease. Unexpectedly, somewhere from the part of his brain that used to be afraid of anything labeled as sinful, a thought came. _"It is normal to worry about your best friend"._

The car made some noise as he accelerated on the empty freeway to get home faster. Partly, Link now shared Rhett's drive to move, to use any excuse and method to get away and escape whatever was around. It was what Link felt, too, as he was trying to run away from the imagined scenarios and cravings he thought were long gone. He shared his life with Christy not because he wanted a replacement; no, he loved her in the only way he knew how to love a fellow human being. He compared his emotions often before the wedding — to be truthful, even more so as the years of marriage accrued, — and he was somewhat pacified always by the results, by the fact that they never quite matched. His love for Christy was different from his love for Rhett, and it gave him the stupidest reason to believe that what he felt for Rhett could not be called out in a confession booth.

Rhett never answered his uncouth attempt at consolation. He was groaning and almost sobbing in his seat, as Link saw out of the corner of his eye how Rhett fumbled.

By the time they pulled into the driveway, Rhett has long abandoned the idea of putting his seatbelt on. And even later, when Link reminisced, he could not remember when exactly Rhett shot his arms around his shoulders and pulled him into another hug. Link got lost then, unable to speak or process anything. His glasses got smudged by Rhett's neck, and he felt sharp signals of pain flashing through his shoulder as Rhett gripped it.

Their heartbeats were out of phase, Link's desperately thudding through the silence right after Rhett's. In Link's mind, a picture flashed of what he used to daydream about: Rhett by his side, forever.

Throughout the years, this daydream proved to materialize again and again, with them holding onto each other's trust. The change Link dared to dream about never came about, but he agreed to the compromise. He was afraid of changes, after all.

He was scared right now. One hug proved nothing, just one hug was a moment of passing vulnerability that could potentially only strengthen their brotherhood. A second one that fell onto him with all Rhett's weight and Rhett's dread... it started to look like a pattern, and Link was not sure he could regard it to be the same.

"Let's get inside", he whispered, and they both preferred to not speak of the mirrored gestures, of their fingers running through each other's hair.

Rhett stumbled through the driveway in the dark, jittery and crumbling in front of Link's eyes. He kept telling himself that it was nothing more than malaise and lack of energy that made Rhett so clingy. He grabbed the takeout, locked the car, and followed Rhett to the front door.

"I'll go put this in the microwave", Link mumbled, slipping past Rhett into the kitchen. In the stillness of the house the lights that Rhett turned on came as an explosion of a supernova. Link closed his eyes for a few seconds to try and regain control over his body that was ridden with paralyzing fear. His own name resonated like thunder, echoing in the hallway.

"Link", Rhett repeated. "Let me help you".

Without turning to face Rhett, Link listened to the lingering words and the unspoken meaning of the phrase. _"Don't leave me alone"_ was something they never said out loud. Mainly because it was never needed, because 'Rhett' was always followed by 'Link'. As Link nodded and smiled weakly, waiting for Rhett to walk by his side to the microwave, he thought to himself about how stupid that rule of parting for Christmas was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the kudos!


	5. Chapter 5

Rhett sat at the table, and everything in the kitchen suddenly seemed to be infinitely distant from his bow-backed figure. Even Link, who quickly busied himself with plating the Chinese takeout, felt alienated by the weight of the odd, stomach-churning disease that swallowed Rhett. Link slowly realized that it wasn't dread that he felt, and it wasn't permanent in any way; no, it was more of an understanding of immediate situation that would resolve at some point. Right now, though, he had to give Rhett support, and his irrevocable determination to be next to Rhett struck him now as something natural.

As he put the plate in front of Rhett and handed him chopsticks, Link suddenly imagined this scenario being their everyday life. Something that would happen normally, no longer in a setting of a dorm room in college or a bachelor pad. The picture that he painted taunted the part of his soul that was attracted to Rhett not in a brotherly way, but Link was either too tired to fight it or maybe — just maybe — okay with that.

He watched Rhett from his seat across the table. It seemed like the attack of anxiety was gradually subsiding, but Rhett's hands were still shaking. Link found himself laughing gently.

"Need a fork?" he asked, failing to add the note of teasing that would normally be present as a part of the mask he put on around Rhett. 

"Nah, I'm good", Rhett said stubbornly, struggling to wrap his fingers around the utensils. Link watched him for another half a minute and then rose from his seat. He pulled a fork out of the drying rack and returned to the table, then observing himself from a distance as his hands removed the chopsticks from Rhett's palm and replaced them with the fork.

"Don't fight me", he heard through the fog of intimacy that somehow sounded less contrived than anything he ever said.

"What if I want to?" Rhett asked, and Link stepped back way too fast for it to even register in his mind: Rhett did not mean the whole utensil situation. Something in his deep voice gave it away that Rhett was probably — just probably — thinking of the same things that Link contemplated tonight.

He chopped the silence with a click of his own chopsticks as he returned to his seat and continued to munch on the chicken. He couldn't feel the taste behind all the bitterness that they apparently shared and carried over the years of toying with each other's feelings. The word _'feelings'_ itself seemed to be the farthest one from the true definition of their joint psyche. Link cleared his throat and looked at Rhett.

"How're you feelin'?"

"Better. I think", Rhett answered so aggressively that it threw Link off. What Rhett said next was just adding an insult to the injury. "We need to talk about... this".

Link dropped his chopsticks onto the plate and pushed it aside. The gesture that usually felt normal — resting his chin on his fist to look at Rhett — required an impossible amount of concentration at this moment, as Link listened to the blood rushing through his temples. He knew he was blushing. Rhett wanting to talk about whatever happened could not mean anything even remotely passing as 'good'.

"Okay", Link said, almost palpably visualizing a shovel in his arms and starting to dig his own metaphorical grave. "What exactly do you mean?"

"You are tense. You have been tense this whole day", Rhett uttered the words with brevity that only one man in the whole world could decipher. That man was Link, and he knew exactly what Rhett wanted to point out.

"Yeah, I guess I was stressed", he deflected, still trying to scramble for some dignity. "Wouldn't you worry if it was me?"

"I would", Rhett pierced him with his eyes, and Link swayed in his seat from the dizziness that the green glare inflicted. Rhett's eyes bore the shiniest shade of green right now, and, frankly, it didn't help Link concentrate at all. "And that's precisely the point, Link. I would worry for you".

Link gulped. It could not be... that was impossible. Rhett could not mean... could he? The question that he desperately wanted to ask hung from the tip of his tongue, and Link licked his lips nervously.

"I appreciate that, bo". 

Just like that, he replaced the usual, expected 'brother' with the much more intimate 'bo', which normally would just be heard as a reminder of their Southern roots. He replaced it on purpose, knowing that there was no turning back to this conversation had he simplified it to another light-hearted fraternizing experience. Link knew exactly what he did, and he hated it. He hated speaking in ciphers, and above all, he hated having to decode and convolute messages while talking to Rhett. It was meant to be easier to speak to Rhett, it was meant to be the most natural thing in the world. Yet right now, Link felt captured in the deadliest trap of his life.

"Just appreciate, huh?" Rhett didn't budge under his half-hearted try at dismissing the whole thing. Link's eyes were glued to him, now sitting straight. Rhett looked viciously good, and Link thought about how food probably made it better. Or was it maybe the fact that they shared a meal now? Whichever it was, Rhett seemed to not be shaking anymore. One could, perhaps, even describe him as stable and steady, just the way he always was. Rhett was always the rock-solid one.

Link kept looking into Rhett's eyes while a thick mist of stupefying fear and familiar awe continued to cloud his judgment. Rhett's next words left him suffocated. "So you didn't feel anything when I hugged you? 'Cuz I sure did".

And there it was. Rhett's signature blunt strike of honesty, straightforward and merciless. Link couldn't remember whether it was always this way, but he always recognized — and even felt grateful for — Rhett's ability to not shy away from being frank. Half the time he told Rhett he was a jerk for doing that, but Link still was unable to match that level of unadulterated candor.

"What are you talkin' 'bout?" he tried to laugh, his Southern accent flashing through, and his voice trembling. "We hug all the time".

"Oh, don't you play with me", Rhett warned, his eyes flashing bright. Link's gaze darted at Rhett's brows, bowed in a manner he knew was dangerous. Too dangerous for this situation. Link's death trap was now squeezing around his chest. "I know you know what I mean. I've been watching you all day".

"Jerk", Link blurted without thinking. All of a sudden he caught onto an opportunity to throw an accusation back at Rhett. "You've been pushing my buttons all day. What, you think I don't know you know how I hate your fake macho style?"

The jerk that Rhett was at this moment, Link noticed the temptation to laugh in the twitch of Rhett's lips. However, Link did not expect Rhett to manage that urge. He did not expect to hear Rhett push on with his seriously perilous seductive voice.

"Of course I know you know. That's a game for two, Link. But you didn't answer me. Why were you so tense today, Link?"

The trap was now shut. With the innuendos shared and Rhett's voice being truly unmistakably seductive, Link didn't have any choice other than admitting the truth. He did not want to do it at all, his mind already racing through the avalanche of everything that could go wrong from this point on. Him confessing and Rhett laughing in his face (one of the less likely ones since this conversation happened at all); Link confessing and Rhett playing it cool (the one that would probably be normal, yet completely breaking Link's heart); Link confessing and Rhett agreeing to simply try something out (workable, yet still ending in Link's heart shattered, because trying out is not enough, it was never enough); Link confessing and Rhett saying it back (the end of it all, because what else could happen were they both on the same page regarding this impossible stalemate of emotional chess?).

Link did not want to confess, but he had no interest in evading the question, either. Deep down, he always guessed it was bound to happen: Rhett was not blind or stupid. Link just hoped it would happen on their deathbed (shared, of course). He closed his eyes for a moment to silently pray for one of the better options — the ones ending in just his heart but not their lives being broken.

"B'cus I would hate for something to happen to you. B'cus your hugs reminded me of something I never said out loud. B'cus..." Link shut his eyelids as tight he could, and he couldn't bring himself to even whisper the last words. Instead, he heard Rhett say calmly.

"Because what, Link?"

The sound of his deep voice made Link calm ever since it cracked back in middle school. It gave him safety and it soothed him at all times. Until today. Today Rhett's voice made his stomach turn into plastery jelly, and his heart into a moth that burned in the light. Link discovered his awkward teenage self yet again, and it was oh so tempting to fall back into saying all the wrong things at all the wrong times. Yet he was much older now. They both deserved more now.

"Because I love you", was his answer.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos! I hope you like this story. Your comments really make my days, and I hope to be able to converse with whoever reads this fic :)

Rhett never thought it would hurt so much. It was unfathomable to him that anyone could survive such a blow.

Of course, the anxiety attack, an irrestistible temptation to go jump off of the nearest cliff, and, simultaneously, a desire to curl up in a ball and cry his eyes out, hit him all at once with about the same force as a baseball bat. Rhett crouched in his seat as he saw red lights.

He always considered himself to be a reasonably tough guy. Of course, he had his health issues, nosebleeds and back problems, but this... Rhett could only recall being so queasy on a roller coaster once in his life, and it passed quite fast. Perhaps, that was the reason why this morning's uncontrollable vomiting threw him back so much. The waves of nausea had him gasping and pleading to the universe for anything that could relieve the misery. Weirdly enough, his thoughts also wandered to Link throughout the whole ordeal. Not that it made the feverishly severe bouts of puking any easier on his body, but it definitely helped keep him distracted to think about all the times when Link had to go through all the nasty stuff on GMM. He rewinded the imaginary tapes over and over, recalling just how callous that was of him to dismiss it all as if retching was no big deal.

Rhett did eventually admit to himself that he probably wasn't the best friend that Link deserved in those moments. He came to that conclusion only after three hours in the waiting area of the hospital. Maybe that was progress?

As he watched Link back there, nervously shuffling his feet back and forth, Rhett was desperate to not only keep the contents of his internal organs to himself. No, he also fought to blink slower just to have this opportunity to enjoy Link's care in a completely selfish way. Resistance was futile against this urge to observe Link going crazy over the situation, showing his true self. Rhett couldn't remember any other instance in the past decade that would show Link so wound up over him.

Rhett hardly remembered the rest of it up until the moment they hit the road. He could tell that the vivid deadly image of a white tunnel and Link's arms around his waist were a part of it, but everything was foggy and oddly mixed. The parts which were intertwined were Link and Rhett's condition.

Now, experiencing the damned aka-whatever-it-was-called for the fourth time today, Rhett still sensed his attention being split. Half of it went on to relive his whole life and imagine writing a suicide note, while the other half was locked in on Link and his wheyfaced expression. And while the sensible Rhett concentrated on survival and not falling down from a chair, the idiot Rhett struggled with averting his gaze.

The idiot was there long enough for the adult Rhett to know it was never going away. The idiot was the one who celebrated Link's agreement for them to not part for college, their decision to quit their jobs, their joint initiative to start up Mythical Entertainment. Typically, that part of Rhett celebrated the events with intense fantasy orgies. That idiot cherished the moments of their physical bonding more than anything, and mostly forced the sensible part of Rhett to agree to do the crazy stunts ( _'for all the views'_ ).

Today was a good day for that idiot, apparently.

Everything went hazy for a second as Link darted towards him. Rhett's arm got thrown over Link's shoulders, and they moved — which did not, of course, stop the attack completely, but seemed to help with the restlessness. Now that Rhett has rested and eaten, he could walk more or less on his own, yet the part of him that longed for it did not allow Rhett the luxury of refusing Link's contact.

They measured the kitchen with their steps, as if dancing. The rhythm was off, but Link guessed Rhett's steps, and that was more than enough. So much so that Rhett finally inhaled enough air to ask: "You were saying?"

He was definitely surprised to hear the raspiness which topped the initial enticement. Even in this state, the deliriously enamoured part of him kept trying.

"Because I love you, dummy", Link repeated with a new kind of softness in his eyes. Rhett thought to himself of the fact he could likely stare into this particular tint of blue for days on end and still not satiate the desire to keep Link as close as possible. However, the sensible Rhett could not just take words at face value. This phrase has been said before, not once nor twice. If Rhett were to make another move, he needed to dig deeper.

"I am well aware of that", he said, watching Link for any signs of blushing. Even as he uttered the words, Rhett flinched at himself for doing something so despicably hurtful. He knew that his callousness and rusticity did not fit with who he truly was — who only Link and sometimes Jessie got to meet. Still, even now Rhett found it incredibly hard to get rid of the mask.

"No, you aren't", Link protested with a sigh. He looked flustered, and the selfish love that Rhett felt for him flourished at the recognition of possible reciprocity. Rhett kept still to hear Link's next words. Boy, did they not disappoint him. "I'm... I feel different about you. Not the way we... usually say it".

Rhett understood him right from the beginning. He started cheering for Link in the car, when he felt fingers brushing through his hair; he answered Link's questions already with _them_ in mind later at the table. But why then did he keep going with the cryptic style of never saying anything out loud? Did Rhett follow Link's suit of entangling the true meaning of words in the weirdest ways of phrasing... because he was confused as well? Maybe. Only partially, though. Mainly Rhett wanted to tease Link when he succumbed to this game of tag. Of course. Why would he be scared of admitting something they both felt so obviously?

"Okay. How do you feel, then?" Rhett asked, wrapping his arms around Link's shoulders and straining his body to stand still for a while. His heart was beating faster yet again, but Rhett had a hunch that it wasn't entirely aka-whatever's fault.

Their eyes met. Link was breathing heavily, and in Rhett's mind this sound echoed with a million memories of the same disposition. Only they never really hugged this tight, and he never let himself have this luxury of showing just how careful he could be when gripping Link's back. Rhett secretly hoped Link would hug him back.

An intimidating long pause was what he got instead. They stared and stared, standing so close to each other Rhett could feel Link's crippling anxiety exuding into the air. The sensible Rhett right now wanted to help his best friend, say something really funny (which would satisfy the smitten Rhett just by virtue of gifting him Link's wonderful laughter) and just make it all into a joke; the Rhett that was obsessed with Link forced him to keep silent.

"I... I don't know what to say", Link was visibly shaken and crushed, and Rhett's whole body trembled. He wished desperately to just hold Link, tell him that it was okay, that he was understood. That their feelings — gosh, was that dang word ever gonna go away? — were shared, just like about anything in their lives. Yet Rhett stood still and let Link fight his own battle.

"I am... Rhett, I don't know if you will despise me for this. Prob'ly not, but..." Link was beating around the bush and stalling so embarrasingly long that Rhett almost said it for him. Yet he stood still. "I just don't know how to interpret your signals, man. I doubt there even were any. You asked me questions in such a manner, and it's so not fair. If you know what I want to say, just give me a sign or something, b'cus it's too damn hard to say it!"

Rhett looked into Link's eyes. They were welling up with tears, and Rhett instantly regretted his silence, as he himself was about to cry from all the tension of this crazy day. Neither of them needed to see red-eyed Rhett.

"Just say it", he murmured to Link. The obsessive thought lived in his mind for too long now to just give up on keeping the old oath to himself.

_"I will never tell Link unless he tells me himself. I will not hurt him unnecessarily."_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again everyone for reading and following this fic!

The way it always worked for Rhett and Link was that there were no secrets. Neither between the two, nor for the people around them, no part of their relationship was ever not transparent. Rhett and Link, the dynamic duo of best friends... who, it seems, were thought to be boyfriends more often than they would care to admit. And, as discovered by Rhett no earlier than this morning, also by themselves.

In the imaginary world where he could persuade Link to admit it, that is. Rhett was getting more and more frustrated with the way Link evaded the direct question.

"Man, I don't... It's gonna ruin everything, if I say it", Link gulped and whimpered. Little did he know, but he looked just like the sad puppy in the rain that he compared Rhett to several hours earlier. Little did he know that Rhett was being tormented by his own urge to just push Link to a wall and kiss all the doubt out of his mind.

"It's not", Rhett said instead of doing that. He kept Link close in the hug, yet he felt infinitely distant from Link right now. Mentally, Rhett was screaming in agony of having to pull Link's confession out. Even more than that he was angry at himself for the stubborn wish to preserve the sanctity of his promise to middle-school Rhett.

"Rhett", Link looked at him through the glasses fogged by his tears, and Rhett's chest almost crushed under the pressure of the emotional vice. It was getting dangerously close to the point of him breaking his promise.

"Link", he groaned, pulling Link closer into the embrace. "Come on. I'm asking you the last time: what d'ya feel, bo?"

He silently chuckled at the way him addressing Link changed throughout this day of new discoveries. Before, Rhett would always just rush through any emotional issues, ramming down any obstacles with a force of a half-pregnant rhino. Now... he got so soft that even shoving Link down the right path came out as a gentle nudge. Something Link was probably longing for, something that Rhett could rarely give. He did feel some sort of shame for not providing this sort of support, but there always was an excuse in form of Link's unpredictable childishness. It helped form the solid core of their friendship a long time ago, this chaotic charm that Link possessed along with his anal retentiveness in the most paradoxical way possible. To Rhett, it was enough to leave him dumbfounded and keep him that way forever. He got struck by the beauty of Link's mind even before he noticed just how striking his looks could be.

And it wasn't entirely different for Link, either.

Link stood there, held in Rhett's arms and spellbound by the sensation of the final puzzle piece falling into its rightful place. He thought of his answer to Rhett's question as the warmness captivated him and lured his sensibility into the great unknown. The imaginary landscape of a world after the confession, a world where everything was unshakably solid even as they fell and crashed together, a world where reality didn't implode upon itself as he uttered the words which remained more virtual than likes under their videos.

Rhett's scent must have mesmerized him out of last scraps of control. Link barely caught his tongue with his teeth to not let his mouth open out of an impulsive need to blabber something entirely incoherent ( _'I've been crushing on you so long, I don't even know how to not be in love with you'_ ). He kept himself from snapping, too ( _'Don't you see I'm all out of words here?!'_ ), as this wouldn't be new either. He even considered cowardice as a strategy ( _'I feel like you're gonna suffocate me, brother'_). None of the options seemed viable by this point, and he was running out of time to actually have a right of speech here. Link shut his eyelids tight and just fired a shot in the dark.

"I feel like you will break my heart right now, because all I want is to put you first in everything, Rhett".

He didn't have to wait long for an answer. It was easy to speak to Rhett. Rhett always had an answer for everything.

"Everything, huh?"

His baritone sounded extremely sexual and liberated with that rasp, and Link couldn't help but open his eyes a little. Just enough to see the unashamed way in which Rhett licked his lips.

"Everything", Link echoed. There was undoubtedly some room for a semi-innuendo joke there, and he knew it could be good, but somehow there was just the right amount of good sense left in him to only add. "Please don't say..."

"That you're being ridiculous?" Rhett suggested as he hugged him tighter. "No. I'm not gonna say that".

Link was quite embarrassed of the shrieking high-pitched sound he made at that moment. The only explanation other than his heart finally breaking free from his ribcage could be the fact that he seriously worried about Rhett's arms gripping him so tight as to squeeze all air out of his lungs. He would never admit that it was his way of sighing with relief.

"Then what are you gonna say?" he asked after a short pause. He still couldn't bring himself to look up into Rhett's eyes, preferring to glue his eyes to the collar of Rhett's t-shirt.

Rhett was quiet for a moment, stunned into numbness as reality started hitting him all over. He never thought about what would happen if somehow the gauge of serendipity got reset after all these years, and it just so happened that Link also... loved him. He only went so far in his fantasies as to imagine kissing Link silly, getting drunk on their new level of bonding, fucking relentlessly... holding hands, brushing each other's arms with no awkward reassurances in this being the last time, but most of all — having Link by his side no matter what. After all, Link was the only person in the whole world to have seen Rhett scared, exhausted beyond belief, and sick to an embarrassing level of incapacitation.

It was for whatever reason hard to find the right words now that everything was almost in the open. Rhett didn't even have a convenient alibi of aka-what-its-face anymore, the remnants of an attack demolished by Link's careful and delicate hug.

Finally, Rhett exhaled.

"That you are my first, too. In everything".

It sounded weirdly ambiguous — just as about anything they ever told each other, really. Double entendres were the highlight of their duo, and upon hearing himself, Rhett chuckled. Predictably, Link did so, too.

The smiles lit up their eyes, and for the next few moments, they communicated entirely through that glow. Rhett was always hypnotized by the way Link's irides would get slightly darker whenever he laughed. What he found incessantly more intriguing was how it only happened when they were alone. Rhett always guessed that it could've been the lighting, the way Link relaxed around him naturally, or just plain luck. Today proved him wrong.

Link couldn't speak quite literally. He found his tongue tied by the first time he really allowed himself to look deep into Rhett's eyes — first time ever since he knew it was the most dangerous game to play. His jaw was tight now, even though his cheeks hurt from smiling, and Link unwittingly clung to Rhett's chest in this novel burst of appreciation.

Silence enveloped them both. It was cozy and warm to share this newly made connection, and neither of them wanted to break the silence, until Link finally managed to utter.

"So what's next?"

There were a few things on Rhett's mind that could've served as potential contenders for the best answer to that. Several of those included physical contact, and surprising dark horses were the options of talking about it some more, planning a date, or merely keeping this comfort for a while longer. All the suggestions seemed logical, and partly because of that, Rhett preferred to not struggle with picking the best one.

"Whatever you want, Link".

Typical Rhett. It was the most typical response from Rhett, and Link let out a sigh. Not that he didn't get used to Rhett pushing the decision-making cards to him — they didn't spend all these years for nothing. But just how selfish of Rhett it was to care first about his own love for delegating important problem-solving tasks to Link? It was a simple question which could've been answered in so many ways, yet the one Rhett picked was this most frustrating non-answer.

Instead of fighting, however, Link only rose a bit to stand on tiptoes. After taking a good look at the incredibly perfect features, he put his lips on Rhett's.


	8. Chapter 8

The kiss was awkward to say the least. Rhett did respond to Link's initial impulse, and they pressed into each other with almost all the force they got, but... somehow it threw them back all the way to middle school. Rhett caught himself waiting for a wake up call in the midst of this dry touch of lips, and Link was on the verge of slipping into a weird giggle.

As Link stepped back and looked at Rhett, they shared the moment of confusion. This was not supposed to happen, not in their dreams, not ever. Whenever Rhett or Link would fantasize about this kiss, it would appear as if they rehearsed it many times. Yet just now they reenacted the plexiglass kiss, the most embarrassing moment of their performing careers done at the spur of the moment.

They started laughing. Rhett doubled up as he forced the sensation of nervousness out of his system, trying his hardest to not shake off the last remnants of their bonding experience. He managed to get it down to a science, this skill of cherishing small bits of contact with Link while behaving seemingly casual. He needed it now for the completely opposite reason.

"Why are we so bad at this?" Link exclaimed roaring with laughter. "Did we get it all wrong?"

Rhett shivered at the suggestion. Something in his chest sank deep with heaviness, and he instantly realized that it would be his worst nightmare to have Link doubt their love. He knew deep down that it couldn't possibly be wrong, that this palpable mutual attraction was the realest thing ever. They could not have mistaken simple friendly hugging with the electrifying, spine-tingling sexual tension caused by intimate embraces.

"No way in hell", he exhaled, then cutting off his own fit of laughter. "I feel it, Link. I want it all".

With that seriousness in his face and his tone, Link probably guessed it wasn't the right time to add a joking vibe to the situation. Rhett was infinitely appreciative of just how understanding Link seemed at moments like this.

"Then take it, Rhett", Link teased, his eyes sparking with a novel kind of trickery. "Take it all if you want it so much".

The curve ball that Link sent his way wasn't light-hearted at all. It was flirtatious for sure, but Rhett recognized the amount of careful consideration that went through Link's mind before he allowed himself this little artful play of catch. Somehow it made perfect sense now for Link to get them back on this path of exploration by letting his voice get coy.

"Oh yeah?" Rhett growled, stepping forward to catch Link in his arms, fingers on broad shoulders, chest almost pushed into chest. He didn't force himself onto Link right away, though. He didn't even anticipate the words to fly out of his mouth. "I will kiss you the way you deserve. But I want you to put in the work, too, Link. We're together".

The reminder turned out to be softer than most of the things Rhett usually told Link to not forget. This acknowledgement of their bond, of the joint nature of it came out naturally, just as customary words of caution. Rhett felt a bit proud of himself for knowing that it was one of Link's weak spots: direct unembellished communication. Saying what you mean without letting anything — anything at all, even the guard put up for safety's sake — influence neither the shape nor the meaning.

Rhett knew how to get Link aroused. Mentally, at least, he did all the time. He pushed Link's buttons and toyed with him, and until today, it was okay for him to do that. Now Rhett sensed there was a lot of wrongness in any case of dishonesty. Now they were closer than ever.

"I know we are", Link answered softly as he looked up. "I want you to kiss me, Rhett, I really do".

It wasn't exactly rocket science to understand that there was a 'but' coming. Rhett sighed and gestured to the living room.

"Wanna sit down and talk first?"

"Would be nice, yeah", Link agreed. He didn't free himself from Rhett's grip, and as they moved in tandem, a wave of sharply painful love washed all over Rhett once again. Link was the most wonderful thing that ever happened in his life, the realest person with all his quirks and mental nooks and crannies. Link let him in on all the secrets and trusted with reckless abandon, and there simply couldn't be anyone else who would match Link's level of amity.

As they made themselves comfortable on the couch, Link cradled in Rhett's embrace, neither of the two felt like starting the conversation. They did start speaking at the same time, nonetheless.

"What..."

"How..."

They shared a giggle and looked at each other again. Rhett offered the floor to Link with a gracious smile.

"What I meant to say was how bad do you want it? 'Cuz I wouldn't do it just to try, Rhett. There isn't 'nuff of me to brush off a failed attempt, and I'd hate to start it and discover that it's not gonna go anywhere", Link professed in a deep voice that he usually slipped into whenever he wanted to hide his nervousness.

Rhett understood that Link would accept his silence now, as he pondered an answer to this undoubtedly hard question. They both had a lot to consider outside of their attraction, and even a second of estimating what the consequences would be was enough to send Rhett's mind down the spiral of terror. They had wives, they had children, they had their lives seemingly all sorted out. Yet Rhett could not bring himself to disbelieve that what they did now was truly rightful. Their dreams couldn't shatter, not for anything in the whole world.

"Link, I just can't not do it. I don't want to lose you, either, but if we don't act on whatever we... feel, I will break down at some point. Don't you think it would be even worse?"

A long stare into the blue eyes gave him all the answers Rhett hoped for. He saw the panic in Link's eyes, the one so familiar since childhood: the fear of loss. The imaginary scenario already sent Link into horror, and Rhett was strangely pleased with that. He wanted Link to be as invested into this as he was, even if it meant forcing some events to happen and not let the emotions run their own course.

"It would", Link finally said, his throat obviously dry. "So... okay, we are on the same page. How do we do it then?"

Rhett took a deep breath. The simplest approach would just involve practice, and lots of it; however, he was not a hot-headed teenager anymore to not care about how far they were about to go.

"I want to kiss you", he said, as if drawing the line. "And touch you. Not sure about the whole... sex thing", he added indecisively. It was a bit risky to say this out loud, it hit him, but Link seemed to agree.

"Not that I don't want it", he drawled. "But it would need some preparation, right? I'd hate to get distracted with the gross stuff".

Rhett audibly sighed with relief: they really were on the same page here. Even if they weren't gurus of male-on-male sex, they both were aware of just how sex in general worked. They would need to work out a system of how to go about this, but at least it could be postponed. For now, Rhett was content with just kissing Link for the first time in their lives.

"Wanna take off your glasses?" he offered as he shifted his weight and repositioned himself on the couch. Their hips pressed into each other, and Link squirmed a bit, but did not shy away.

The pressure was on now, and Rhett felt the situation starting to gain momentum. One moment he was just sitting there, watching Link fumble with his glasses; the next, their faces were closer than ever before. There was no more talking involved in the moment they shared. Rhett caught the scent of Link's skin, which intoxicated his mind with the familiarity and bewildering novelty of the trust put into this closeness. As the distance between their lips got shorter, Rhett discerned the reason why Link's first bold try didn't make the cut: now that they were older, they both needed insight. Their cautiousness held them accountable for their actions.

However, now that both clarified the uncertain points, there were no excuses left. Rhett closed in on Link's lips and touched them softly, gingerly pushing apart.

Link tasted wonderfully minty, and just as their tongues brushed against each other in this unhurried exploration, Rhett finally sensed the peace of mind he was chasing all these years.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The memory they share is entirely fictional.

They pulled away from each other as both started running out of breath. This kiss was a significant improvement on the first one, and Link realized he had a fleeting regret of having to end it.

He knew him watching Rhett so intently would be perceived as a very longing stare, but he finally could afford it to not care. Rhett's touch was now his while they discovered this different sort of intimacy, and Link's cheeks were hurting from smiling. This appreciation made him giddy like a glass of good champagne.

"Well that was great", he said in a painfully awkward manner. The gesture with which he brushed his hair also gave it away, his anxiety and sense of wonder over whether or not Rhett shared it with him.

"It was", Rhett agreed, and Link smiled even wider. In the soft lighting of his living room Rhett's features were more pronounced, and Link recognized each one as the embodiment of masculine beauty. This knowledge sat with him since high school. Rhett started shaving his face back then, joining Link in the ranks, and it was that one particular morning when the hurricane of emotions emerged from the depths of Link's subconscious. Rhett came over to pick him up, and as Link made himself comfortable in the passenger seat, the sun rose just enough to light Rhett's face from a new angle. Link froze at that point in time which seemed to stretch for eternity, imbibing Rhett's look and scent.

He had to run to the bathroom the second Rhett parked the car. Even though Link was quite sure of his own body and its reactions, the erection was so sudden it wouldn't subside.

Today, Link considered himself to have pulled the luckiest ticket in the lottery of life, being able to observe Rhett and his growth every single day. He watched Rhett become a husband and a father, he got to share a business with Rhett, and all the while Rhett never estranged him. They stayed together. Today, Link finally understood just how lucky his numbers were.

"Can I ask you a question before we repeat this?" Link asked, brushing aside the fear of Rhett not giving him the opportunity of another kiss. He had to be sure for this all to work out.

"Sure thing, bo", Rhett answered, and then he smirked in the best way Link ever witnessed. "Better get everything else out of the way, 'cuz I won't be able to stop once we get to business".

Link's hand bolted towards his glasses, and he put them on so hurried that it left him puzzled for a brief moment. As he processed the apprehension of the fact that while his glasses were on, they would talk and not kiss, Link chuckled.

"So I was just wondering..." he drew his vowels out to find a way to phrase his question, which was actually very simple. "When did you feel it first?"

The silence that followed got him scared for a surprisingly brief second. Link wasn't a kind of person to not obsess over the smallest details, yet it was almost a knee-jerk reflex to relax next to Rhett. When Rhett talked, Link listened — it has been this way forever, and Link got to the point of listening to Rhett even when he was quiet.

"I'm having a hard time pinpointing the exact age", Rhett finally admitted. "Maybe high school. I kinda always knew I liked you, ever since we first met, but I thought that, you know, I wasn't obsessed with you in the _exactly_ the same way I obsessed over girls. I thought about you more, to be honest, but it wasn't like I could really say it, even to myself".

Link raised his eyes. He guessed it was worth the shot to ask Rhett, but it couldn't possibly be true.

"It was very similar... no, it was identical for me, you know. I kept it all to myself. And if we are talking about high school... I don't even know if you remember that day", he said, his voice dying off at the last words. It would be too good to be true.

"What day?" Rhett looked at him with his interest definitely piqued, and Link sighed.

"You picked me up to go to school, and I... I froze when I saw you that morning. I was quiet, couldn't speak, and I had to rush to the bathroom the second we got there. I had the wildest hard-on ever, man".

Rhett was silent for a few seconds, and then he laughed. Not the way he would to mock Link typically, no, it was more characteristic of Link, in fact, to giggle in this nervous manner. There wasn't even a hint of Rhett's signature look of 'Link, you're such an idiot'. Rhett's next words were music to Link's ears.

"I was so happy you ran straight for the doors. I watched you the whole ride. I think it was the sun, the way the rays made you squint. I barely managed to not get us both killed, and I prayed for you not to notice I was hard", Rhett was talking a mile a minute. The anxiety he emitted was enough to send Link over the roof with exhilaration. They apparently shared way more memories than they were aware of.

"And then during lunch that day..." Link suddenly remembered how awkward their handshake was that afternoon, with Rhett's palms even sweatier than usual. 

"I couldn't stop thinking about whether what I felt was wrong, or if it maybe was just a phase", Rhett shrugged with a sigh. "I sometimes wondered if I should have done something before I met Jessie".

"Don't", Link pleaded. "Let's not talk about family, not yet?"

He was legitimately scared by the prospect of having to think about it. About how what they now had with Rhett would affect their lives outside the confines of this house. Rhett seemed to be just as perturbed, but for some reason, his worry didn't quite match Link's.

"Okay, but we will have to discuss it at some point", Rhett reminded. "You know that, right?"

"I do", Link whispered, his lips dry. Of course he knew what they were experiencing could not just have been a simple experiment to forget about, not their usual encounter that got lost among myriads of indistinguishable days. Therefore, there was no way for either Rhett or Link to hide this from their families, to not let them in on this widely known secret. They had to tell their wives they loved each other.

Link shivered.

"Can we kiss some more?" he asked. After mentioning their families, the kiss no longer felt needed, and the thirst for more intimacy wasn't persistent and critically imperative anymore. However, Link knew that once they started, they wouldn't be able to stop anyway.

"Of course, buddyroll", Rhett laughed, and Link carefully studied the relief in his eyes. Rhett's gaze was warm from the sunny wrinkles around his lids, and his smile emanated heat from under the beard. In some weird way, Rhett came across as someone who not only loved wood but maybe personified it. As Link moved closer to him, Rhett outstretched his hand. His fingers ran over the rims of Link's glasses, and Rhett took them off in a gesture that appeared to be mundane, as if they rehearsed it many times. The kiss only required this little practice for them to get used to this routine, apparently.

Link closed his eyes and kissed Rhett again and again, unable to stop. Their love evidently was falling back on track, and Link's mind got enveloped in all the right kinds of security blankets, all tied back to Rhett. Rhett was his saving grace now that he had so much to think about; when kissing Rhett, he could forget about all of it. When their lips touched, when Rhett sucked on his bottom lip or parted Link's teeth with his tongue, Link could barely keep himself intact to respond to the tiniest changes. He moaned and whimpered into Rhett's mouth, and it was completely natural for him to throw his arms around Rhett's neck.

"You're a good kisser", he whispered as Rhett was catching his breath in between intense moment of contact.

"So are you", Rhett responded. They looked at each other with a smile and laughed whole-heartedly at just how ridiculous it sounded now that both were adults. Of course they were good kissers.

"I mean... you care. You care about what I want", Link tried to explain, floundering in his own thoughts. He was tingly from the arousal Rhett's touch caused, and it was easy to throw him off-balance now.

"I do", Rhett nodded with a more serious smile. "I want you to like it, because you deserve it. And so much more, Link..."

It certainly was not typical to hear Rhett say anything this touchy-feely. Link wondered about it for just a few seconds until he saw Rhett go pale once again.


	10. Chapter 10

"Again?" Link whispered, brushing his fingers against Rhett's cheek. He hugged Rhett's shoulders as tight as he could, trying to get a hold of the tremor and throw it away in one desperate act of love, yet all it did was cause Rhett to coarsely laugh.

"Yeah, that thing... is really stubborn".

He did hug Link back, though, and in that moment, they both sensed the unity of mind that often brought attention to their duo. After all these years, thinking together came to them so naturally it wasn't even the question of if the same thought was going to visit their heads, it was more of a question of when it was going to happen. Link often felt that it happened simultaneously, even if Rhett never showed it; now he was certain that it did.

"Wanna tell me how it feels?" Link suggested, stroking Rhett's back and succumbing to the urge to lightly massage the knots he knew were there.

"Well..." He saw Rhett hesitate for a moment, but right after that, hearing Rhett spill everything out was the most amazing thing Link ever witnessed. It was as if they were teenagers again, driving aimlessly and listening to Merle Haggard; only now it wasn't soul-ripping country music, it was Rhett's voice. "It's like knowing for sure that death is coming. It's craving it, y'know? Craving to make it closer, just because it's unbearable to think that I won't be able to move to all the places at once when it is the one thing that can keep me alive. Like my whole body is aching, only I can't point to where it hurts, and I'm about to turn inside out, but I can't. I want to rest and I want to move. Not like restless legs syndrome, not like anything I ever felt before. It's scary, but it's also... I don't know, very much like floating in that sensory deprivation tank. And when you hug me... Gosh, Link, it's sending all those mixed vibes. I want to fuck you relentlessly, I could do it for hours just to ease this whole aka-whatever, but I'm also exhausted, and I wish to just sit like this forever".

And Link heard all the right words in that monologue. He listened to the _craving_ , the _aching_ , the _rest_ , the _deprivation_ , the _fuck_ , and the _forever_ , and the soliloquy resonated to something deep within the part of him that stayed brushed aside in all those moments they failed to really share. He longed to move, too, to get past the point where all they could tell each other was always covered by the unbreakable friendship. Their coveted bond was now complete, wasn't it?

"We can do anything you want, Rhett", he said softly, pressing his fingers into Rhett's back. "We always do that".

"I wasn't always sure you wanted to", Rhett replied in a weary voice, and Link took a moment to look at his face. The features he knew so well, the expression he studied in silence whenever they were alone in front of millions of future viewers — they showed just how different they were now. Link never thought that the changes would make him so content; before, he used to regret the time they spent in this limbo of being together yet apart. Today he opened another gift in himself: the appreciation of just how in love he was with mature Rhett, with the Rhett he stood by.

"Why, Rhett?" Link asked, no longer surprised by the lack of remorse in this question. "I was there for you, weren't I?"

"I... I made a promise to myself. Back then. I didn't know if you were really there, in all senses, y'know? And so I promised I won't tell you unless you say it yourself. In reality, I just shut it down as something that would never happen", Rhett whispered, leaning onto Link with all his heaviness. His breath was labored, and Link knew he had to do something, but there was nothing in his power. He couldn't fast forward.

"You jerk", Link smiled at such a familiar phrasing of their honest opinions about each other. "All you had to do was ask".

"Not like I could post a question on Facebook and tag you there", Rhett chuckled, and even though his smile was sincere, Link did notice the crow's feet around his eyes. On an impulse, he planted his lips over the tiny wrinkles, and then he pressed his forehead against Rhett's to look him in the eyes. There wasn't much to say, as Link couldn't find the right continuation to this light banter; all that flooded his mind was sentimental and stupid. Something he would never say to anyone.

"Well, now that we both know: I do love you, bo".

It was always easy to tell Rhett something Link never confided in any other person.

"I love you too", Rhett answered, still shaking, but subtly less so. The way his arms clutched Link's waist was now ever so slightly cozier, and Link's brain clicked to the word they recently discussed was worth to put into a GMMore episode: hygge. Not quite open anymore to open up about their personal lives on GMM itself, they both still enjoyed deep discussions of stuff like that after the episode was over.

"Do you wanna lie down?" Link offered, and somehow this simple proposal called back all the butterflies in his stomach. It's been maybe good ten years since he last experienced this particular type of anxiety, the giddiness of wanting someone's touch. However, it felt good to return to something that wasn't quite explored to its fullest capacity. Link studied it closely before; he understood way back that it would never be a done deal for him unless — until — he could experience it all with Rhett.

"Not in your bed", Rhett snapped way too quickly, and Link nodded instantaneously. Now was not the time to debate what it meant for their adult lives; now was the time to get back at teenage Rhett and Link and show them just how delightfully right and wrong they were at the same time.

"The couch is too small, though..." Link drawled. There really wasn't an easy way for them to find a place in this house that wouldn't taint any further discussions with the recurring thoughts of what they were going to do about their families.

"Then let's go", Rhett pulled back from the hug and got up. It was obvious now just how well he was able to hide his jerky jitter while Rhett was seated; when upright, he was shaking with the urge to move.

"Where?" Link squeaked when Rhett yanked him by the wrist and pulled in for another embrace. "It's the middle of the night".

"Don't know, don't care", Rhett whispered, nestling his nose in the crook of Link's neck. He had to bend his knees a little to do so, and Link couldn't quite argue with a gesture like that. The smallest demonstration of how Rhett cared more about him than his own back, and Link was already a jelly-man. A few seconds of forgetting how to breathe and remembering it again once Rhett's scent hit his nostrils, and Link was ready to run wherever. Just like the old times.

"We have a plane to catch in the morning", Link reminded him solemnly, though, after giving it a second thought (oh, how he wished to just curse those remnants of sanity out of his person!).

"Don't know, don't care", Rhett replied without hesitation. He clung to Link so close it was almost unbearable, and all of a sudden, Link realized they did owe this to themselves. They were postponing this to — what? Their deathbeds? Time wasn't merciful, it already took what it could from them, and now was better than ever to just catch each other's hands and squeeze until it was certain no one was going anywhere.

"Please don't tell me it's only because you don't want your family to see you this weak and all sick out of your mind", Link teased under his breath.

"Nah", Rhett shrugged while stroking Link's back. "They saw me sick. All kinds of miserable, actually. But I don't want them to have what I can give you right now. This one, I owe you".

There was that — a silenced acknowledgement of the fact that Rhett did screw up this one. Link couldn't articulate it earlier, but yeah, he did indeed feel that Rhett fucked them both up by never saying a word, by making that idiotic promise to himself, by not trusting Link enough... but what good was Link then? He kept his quiet, too.

"I owe you a big one, too", he sighed, looking at Rhett with all seriousness. "But let's at least get far enough from here to not run into anyone".

"I'll drive", Rhett nodded briskly. "Come on. I feel guilty being here, too," he added, as if reading Link's mind.


	11. Chapter 11

Link never felt unsafe whenever Rhett was driving. Even when they were in danger, when they both were sure this particular drive was going to leave them dead in a ditch, Link somehow always knew it was going to be them both together, dead or alive. Never questioning Rhett was his place of comfort (even if he never told anyone, especially Rhett himself, about that safe space he created inside his own head).

Even now, when Rhett was almost bouncing in the driver's seat, giddy with all the energy the dang akathisia sent through his spine, Link didn't pause for a second to get in the car. He only looked at Rhett calmly.

"Don't speed. Or do, but then you have to pay the fine when it comes".

Rhett laughed and looked back at him:

"Sure thing, buddy. I won't make you pay for my stupidity". Then there was a small shift, a tiny blip of consciousness in Rhett's eyes that got reflected in Link's glasses. And then Rhett said with a lot more gravity. "Not anymore, anyway".

Link wanted to kiss him silly for all he knew, but Rhett already got onto the road. They drove in silence for some time, each drowned in their thoughts and the mutual appreciation of just how much closer they felt. Link glanced at Rhett a few times, noticing the bulge of his erection. It threw him back, violently thrust his almost teenage-crushing-on-his-best-friend self against the reality of them both forced to hide and cover up for most of their lives. The fog of silence got thicker until Link shook his head.

"We're gonna drive for some time", he said, not even realizing he rubbed his own raging erection through the pants in a defensive manner, as if trying to calm it down. "Maybe we should talk it all out while we can".

"Would be hard to get back in the mood", Rhett replied, not taking his eyes off the road. The car did have cruise control, but Link knew that right now, on this particular occasion, Rhett would be devoting this limitless vigour to concentrating on moving forward. Metaphorically, that was what suited the topic of the conversation all too well.

"It'd never be hard to get hot for you, man", Link smiled. He relished the sensation of relief that came with being so free to say things like this out loud.

"True", Rhett snickered, but then sighed. "So you want to talk family, right?"

"I know I said I don't, but... Rhett, we're not just husbands, we're fathers. I can't just throw it out the window".

"Me neither. So we'll tell them. After the holidays are over, we will tell them... together", Rhett seemed to be very determined in this moment, his brows furrowed and lips tightly pressed against each other.

"Together?" Link echoed, intrigued by that addition.

"Yeah. I'm not planning on ever leaving your side, and I know you feel the same. So we'll figure it all out. I don't know, maybe Jessie and Christy'll get mad. Maybe they'll throw us out of our houses. I just know that Jessie's not the type of girl to ask for divorce".

"Nah, Christy'd never", Link nodded pensively. "But I kinda feel we have to come to them with a solution. At least a bad one that they can trash and then propose the better kind".

"Well... I don't want this to be a one time thing, Link. Not sure how it'll go, but the kisses were great", Rhett gave him a quick glance and then returned to watching the road. Link realized he blushed.

"Yeah, I'd like to have that... from now on. And if the whole... sex thing is good, too, then I'd like to have that... on the regular", he awkwardly stammered, rubbing the back of his neck. By this point, his arousal has gone down a little bit, but Link could tell it was just a matter of time for his erection to return.

"So we'll have to let them know. Maybe they'll agree to us having like our private time?" Rhett proposed, even though Link could hear his voice go doubtful towards the end of the sentence.

"We do hike a lot. It wouldn't make much difference to the routines if we just took some of that time to..." Link cursed himself for still not being able to say "fuck" out loud. He usually was quite liberated to speak with no filters, but any adult language now was about to hit them with a reality check. This was happening, and he still couldn't bring himself to believe it fully.

"Yeah, but now they'd _think_ about what that means", Rhett shook his head and sighed. "I do wish there was a parallel universe, Link, where I told you from the very beginning".

"I'm sure there is one", Link shrugged with a smile. He accepted Rhett's multiverse theory a long time ago, but teased him with disbelief just to have his own fun. Besides, Rhett looked incredibly hot when trying to defend his views. "I mean, there's gotta be, if the whole theory is true".

"Well then why aren't we in it?!" Rhett suddenly hit the steering wheel with his palm and furrowed his brows deeper. "Don't get me wrong, I love my family and the opportunity I had to build it, but gosh, Link, if only..."

"Hey, hey", Link patted his shoulder ever so lightly. "It's okay. I feel this way, too, and it's almost enough to stop me from doing this whole running away thing. Almost. But I'm here with ya, and not going anywhere, and we're gonna figure it all out".

"You're speaking too fast. Somethin' botherin' ya?" Rhett noted. Of course, the speech wasn't enough to ease his mind, but the words did bear all the meaning they needed — that they were going to stick to the plan, no matter what, that neither one could even think of chickening out or giving up on the dream. Because it was their dream, even if Link never allowed himself to guess that Rhett was obsessed not only with the girls next door.

"Just the fact that I can't think of a way to figure it out", Link confessed. "Doesn't mean I'll stop trying, though. How's the akathisia?"

"Almost gone. Now that I'm driving, I feel more in control", Rhett answered in a meditative manner. It was almost as if they were back in high school, only now nobody froze at the sight of sheer beauty, and there was no need to rush any emotions. There wasn't any of the tension of this morning's rush to the hospital; there was only their palpable connection shared in the looks gifted to one another.

"Good. I hope it fades as morning rolls out. From what I've read, it usually goes away after a day", Link nodded and pulled out his phone. A quick Google search confirmed his guess, and he smiled. "Doesn't look too bad. I mean, apart from the whole suicidal experiences, and contorting your whole body, and everything".

"Yeah, those ones are kinda bad", Rhett scoffed. He scratched the back of his head and let out an extended sigh, then letting his eyelids go down for a brief moment. "Man, I thought that there would be something more serious that would haunt me. I don't know, maybe a death threat or something. Not this kind of thing".

Link's stare was probably telling Rhett more than anything that he could say, and with just how physically capable of damage that look was, Rhett hastily apologized.

"I am not saying it's stupid or imaginary. It's real, man, and it's the absolute worst, just like a panic attack. I am not denying that. But for the sake of the argument, y'know, I did hope to fulfill the expectation of at least appearing to be more manly... but you're right. I do that more often nowadays, don't I?"

Link rubbed his eyes with his fingertips and shook his head. He needed to snap out of this judgment. He loved Rhett in more ways than any best friend could imagine, and Link certainly considered himself to be accepting of any and all of Rhett's flaws, but this... He knew Rhett was well aware of this difference. Of how they viewed masculinity, male roles, everything they embodied. This was pertinent now more than ever, and he needed to pull himself together to convey all the important messages to Rhett, if only to make sure they didn't fuck this up.

"You do. Maybe because subconsciously we both were sending each other signals of not managing the whole attraction thing anymore. I mean, with Buddy System and all the publicity, with GMM gaining more popularity, we did add more physical stuff. I think it was bound to happen. I think you are trying to defend the image you built and be Rhett that everyone sees in you, but... man, I know the whole other side of you, and they are completely different. I love and respect both of those types of men, and you know that, but here with me, right now... couldn't you just let me in? You never failed to support me, but you suck at opening the gate for me. I'm not going to hurt you, I..."

As he spoke, Link didn't notice that Rhett pulled to a shoulder on the road and stopped the car. And when Link did stop to take in the situation, he discovered that his glasses were getting taken off.

It would be idiotic of him to fight off the kiss that followed.


	12. Chapter 12

"Will you always use that to change the subject? 'Cuz it would be crazy effective, but might cause problems in the future", Rhett heard Link's raspy voice after a few seconds. The kisses were now getting somewhere close to incredible, and with each time that they got to taste each other, their shared craving of more only solidified. Rhett chuckled, looking directly into Link's eyes. He took in all he could from the darkened blue, the dilated pupils, the glow of emotions.

"I just couldn't help m'self. You are darn sexy when you talk to me like that", Rhett confessed, returning to the driver's seat and turning his gaze to the horizon that hid in the dark. "You're brutally honest, have you ever noticed that? Ever since we were kids, you never failed to tell me that I suck, that I'm acting like a jerk, that I'm stupid".

"You never held back yourself", Link smiled, stroking the back of Rhett's hand that rested on the gear shift. The touch was simple enough for them to recognize its innocence, yet at the same time Rhett knew just how promising it was to feel Link's fingers on his skin. "Don't be Link, be smart", Link teased, and Rhett laughed. This did feel much easier on him than any of the previous accusations. Apparently, they were best friends before they were lovers, and that didn't change as they kissed more.

"You never seem to mind", Rhett shrugged as he continued to stare into the void that didn't quite reciprocate today. "Isn't that how it's supposed to work?"

Link didn't answer. His eyes followed the delicate curve of Rhett's bicep covered with fabric; he traced the line all the way to the imperceptible vibration of blood rushing through Rhett's neck. Their hands were still connected.

"Link?" Rhett looked at him with curiosity. "Did I say something?"

"No", Link smiled at him. That warmth enveloped Rhett in a feeling he couldn't name; it was new and belonged in the glossary of body language that was only theirs. "You said all the right things, bo", Link continued as he brushed hair from Rhett's face with the fingers of his right hand. "It's just that it all hits me in waves, too. You ground me, Rhett".

Rhett returned him the look and snickered. The speed with which Link adapted to new circumstances was uncanny, even after years upon years of them stretching this ability to its limits. Link kept up with everything.

"I think we should find a motel or something", Rhett suggested softly. He knew Link preferred not to stop at shady places. He, on the other hand, was way too tired to think _straight_ , to think about any of the precautions they both would follow to the 't'.

"And stop by a pharmacy beforehand".

Link's crooked smile was something Rhett didn't expect. He loved it at all times. One time Jen was showing him a set of fan-made gifs with all the times he looked at Link — innocent workplace jabs like those were common in the office. Rhett hardly contained his blush upon being forced into looking at Link's smile, Link's wink... Link. The paradox, the puzzle, the man who entertained Rhett's mind throughout their life. And now he was explicitly reminding him of reality in which they discovered a new thing to do together.

Not that Rhett wasn't intrigued by the thought.

"Condoms?" he asked in the most nonchalant way, partly wincing at the engraved social pressure into behaving like this.

"Yup. And lube, and whatever else is needed", Link chuckled as he pulled out his phone and contemplated something for a second. "You drive, I just need to google something".

"Find the nearest pharmacy then while you're at it", Rhett put the gear back in drive and smiled at how much he missed Link's touch even in this brief second. Apparently, his inner idiot was also quite greedy and couldn't get enough of what rained upon his stupid head. "Wait, what are you googling?"

"Youtube videos on how to prepare for... sex", Link smirked into the screen of his phone. The newfound liberty to say things like these out loud, an opportunity to google without going into incognito mode — Rhett understood how it could make Link happy. Were he himself not so tired, Rhett probably would get jittery without any influence of akathisia.

"Anyone we know?" Rhett laughed. He wasn't quite able to hide the nervous energy pent up in him. What he and Link shared in terms of their sexual lives wasn't all too intimate, as they preferred to keep at least some sort of privacy (seeing each other all the time was a lot to process at times). He didn't really know much about what Link could do in bed, and until now, the sweet speculations in his own mind were mere fantasies. Yeah, he used to daydream about Link giving him a blowjob, or them fucking relentlessly everywhere there was a flat surface (against the wall of the shower in the dorm of NC State, on the desk, on the card table, on the couch in their office, under the cover of a tent deep in the desert). But all of that he kept to himself for years.

Rhett never indulged much in porn; brought up in a strict household, he considered it to be way too dirty. Besides, his own imagination seemed to work just fine most of the time.

As if mirroring his thoughts, Link hummed. "Well, there are a couple of good videos. First they say not to rely on porn... which I didn't plan to do anyway, ever. And second that we need good protection. Like real good, no matter what we do. All kinds of stuff caught on genitals".

Rhett couldn't help but chuckle. Link's anal retentiveness surpassed all known limits, and he recognized the germophobe he loved throughout their shared life. Link might have gotten a bit more courageous with the way GMM shaped them up for all types of challenges, but he was still one hell of a squeamish person. However, this matter was really important, if they were to act responsibly.

"Alright. Should there be like... I don't know, douching or enema, or whatever they call it?" Rhett asked. To anyone else — heck, even to Jessie — he would phrase it in a gentler, ginger way, and he would most likely shy away from using the terms, but with Link it came easier than ever. After all, they've done pretty much all they could without really touching each other — both for the views and for their own coveted reasons.

"Some people say it could be done, others advise against it since it could mess up your bacteria. I'd go for it, honestly, at least the first time", Link confessed and looked at Rhett with a bit of a concern in his eyes. "Speaking of which..."

"I honestly don't care who's on top", Rhett smirked and carefully pushed on the brakes to be able to witness Link's reaction. He knew it would surprise him a lot. Rhett didn't seem like a sort of a guy to want to be on the bottom, but ever since the fantasy entered his mind, it was just too tempting to not crave at least a try. "We could try both ways and see what we like most".

"I mean... yes, I guess, if that's what you want..." Link was clearly at loss for words, and his blush was way too cute. Rhett stopped the car again and leaned in to steal another kiss.

"I want you, Link. The wait's been long enough for me to have enough fantasies piled up".

They definitely got more and more in touch with their emotions. Every next kiss brought Rhett another piece of information that he's been chasing after. Link's lips were softer than he thought and remembered from the plexiglass scene; his stubble added some nice friction and just enough roughness to sense that it was Link. His scent, as if exaggerated because of the intimacy, intoxicated Rhett with the apprehension of how much rightness — and how many new rights it all brought.

He did now have the right to do that.

"Wow", Link whispered and then smirked in a new, quite enticing way. "You're hot, McLaughlin".

"Right back at ya, Neal", Rhett snickered as he pulled a loose strand of hair off of Link's forehead. "What are you smiling about?"

"I just know that with how competitive you are, you're going to try and out-fantasize me in bed. And I also know that it's not gonna happen".

Rhett didn't really mind losing to Link in that area. Not that he would ever say that out loud.


	13. Chapter 13

Link bumped the cart against Rhett's butt and laughed. "Come on, is it really so hard? You had one task, bo".

Apparently, leaving Rhett to decide which condoms they were gonna use was a reckless move on Link's part. He managed to run around the aisle to pick up lube and an enema already, and Rhett was still contemplating the assortment.

"I can't choose", Rhett uttered with a thoughtful air and pointed to the boxes. "Sensibility dictates taking the strong ones, but I can't help wondering what the other ones would feel like".

Link stared at him. At times he got scared by how much they were in tune with each other; with the full-blown library of erotic fantasies of his own, Link himself was tempted to just grab everything off the shelves. In his mind, he already pictured what it would be like to roll out the condom on Rhett's cock, stroking him gingerly, admiring the size. Even that simple gesture was enough to send his imagination straight into the seventh heaven.

His gaze met the box of flavored condoms, and as Rhett followed his eyes, he all of a sudden burst into laughter.

"What?" Link looked at him, puzzled.

"I just thought we should look online for peanut butter flavored ones", Rhett explained with the most gentle tease in his voice.

"How 'bout some wooden toys then?" Link retorted with a wide smile, nudging him with the cart again. "I bet there are polished cock rings out there".

The look that Rhett gave him was novel. Link wasn't yet used to seeing Rhett aroused.

"Kinky", Rhett whispered to him as he dropped a few boxes of condom into the cart and headed to the snacks aisle.

The hair at the back of Link's neck stood up on its end, and he cleared his throat. He remembered the intonation from one of their caption fail videos; he was the one to whisper the word then. Five years ago when they filmed it, he didn't understand Rhett's aggravation and the urge to move on from that scene that Link had to retake a couple of times because of bursting into nervous giggles. He now understood how frustrating it must have been for Rhett to see him say something like that.

Link followed Rhett to get some bottled water. The jitter started to arise in his legs as they lingered in the shop: this whole night has been so risky and simultaneously amazing that he couldn't contain his excitement for much longer. His hope right now was to not meet any Beasts; fortunately, the pharmacy did have a self-checkout lane.

"Look what I got ya", Rhett appeared from around the corner, holding a box of cereal. Just as he threw it in the cart, his gaze fell upon the bottle of lube that Link chose. Evidently, Rhett did revert back to his high school self, because he once again started giggling. "Bo, I know you're excited, but exactly how many years' supply is that?"

"They say there isn't such thing as too much lube", Link shrugged, blushing nonetheless. "Let's go get some milk and get out of here".

"You go start checking out, I'll be right there", Rhett nodded. His features seemed to have softened now that he had some rest from akathisia, and Link stayed there dumbfounded for a split second, simply taking in the glow exuded by Rhett. The situation seemed surreal, yet it was them — nothing impossible. It was right by them to just run away and have some time to themselves, exploring all things new. It was what Rhett and Link stood by for years, and Link wouldn't have it any other way, to be honest.

He mechanically passed their purchases through the scanner when a warm hand landed on his waist. Rhett's beard tickled his neck as he felt Rhett lower his head on Link's shoulder.

"You're brave, y'know?" he heard Rhett whisper.

"What makes you think that?" Link smiled, putting the milk in a bag hanging from a metal bar. 

"You agreed right away. I was scared to death. I was afraid you wouldn't come with me", Rhett confessed almost inaudibly, his lips touching Link's earlobe.

"Rhett, you're my first in everything, remember?" Link realized only now that he held his breath for a minute before responding. The moment of intimacy filled him with something he never encountered before: the sense of immense security mixed with gratitude and wrapped in a tight blanket of love everlasting. If he were to describe it, he'd probably shy away from calling their bond anything so pathetic, but deep inside, Link chose those exact words. "B'sides, I never thought it was possible to have all your dreams come true. And yet you do this all the time — help me bring them all to life".

Rhett smiled. Link felt his lips awkwardly touch the collarbone before moving away.

"I'll pay", Link insisted, taking out his card.

"Then the motel is my treat", Rhett chuckled before looking at Link in a strangely sad way. "I wish we could do this the right way. You deserve Four Seasons, bo".

"Listen, we shared more crappy rooms than I care to actually remember", Link smiled again. "Seriously, man, I don't care".

It didn't have to be explained. With Rhett, everything came easy and natural, especially when they discussed things beforehand. Link attributed it to them being past the stage of arguing about their differences and instead embracing what they shared. Now that they've stepped over another line, he wondered if it'd stay the same. So far, nothing disenchanted his conviction in that Rhett was, perhaps, his soulmate.

As they returned to the car and drove towards the motel nearby, Link couldn't help but stare. Rhett was steady, calm, collected — or he'd look this way to everyone but Link, who saw right through the shroud of cool. He knew exactly how thoughts raced through Rhett's mind now that they were about to overstep another boundary.

The motel bed wasn't as bad as Link worried it might had been — made with relatively clean sheets, it didn't reek of any bodily fluids. The room was small but neat, and at this moment they wished for nothing more.

"Looks okay", Rhett hummed as he sat down on the bed and invited Link to join him with a tiny, almost unrecognizable gesture. "I take it we need to talk before doing anything".

"I guess so", Link drawled as he sat next to Rhett and looked directly into his eyes. "I mean, it's kind of a big step. Are you sure this is what _you_ want to do, bo?"

"I'm in head over heels, Link", Rhett sighed as he pulled Link into a protective hug. "I want to get to know you this way".

"And if it doesn't work out?" Link murmured, tracing Rhett's shoulders with his fingertips. "If sex is gross, if we don't click?"

His tone was soft, yet they both were well aware of how crushing the thought of losing each other was. There wasn't a scenario before in which they could've fallen apart; Rhett and Link were as much a duo as a single, _atomic_ unit. To break it meant to lose pretty much everything.

"We'll just return to kissing", Rhett shrugged. In his confidence Link saw the deep, unquenchable urge to lead, the readiness with which Rhett accepted responsibility. In their equality, Link still resorted to allowing Rhett to be more brave.

"You won't... you don't think it can break us?" Link gulped as his eyes met Rhett's.

He got another kiss in response, this time a gentle caressing one. Their lips glided against each other, Link recognizing the faint hint at peanut butter in the taste.

"See?" Rhett smiled at him. His palm rested upon the small of Link's back, supportive if not shielding. The intimacy shone through their touch. "Nothing will ever make me part from you. If it turns out to be just an experiment, then so be it. We'll still stay together".

"And what about Jess and Christy?" Link felt a pang resonating through his chest as he uttered the words. It was their sacred elephant in the room, it seemed.

"Don't get ahead of yourself", Rhett stroked his hair and smiled with solemn resignation. "My plan is to have this time with you. Just us, figuring it all out. And then, when time comes, we will get together, all four of us, and we will tell everything to Jessie and Christy".

"You think it'd be better to tell them together?" Link hummed indecisively, contemplating Rhett's idea.

"It concerns all four of us. I think it's only fair to discuss it with everyone present. You'd prefer to speak to Christy alone?" Rhett raised his eyebrows.

"God forbid", Link shivered as he imagined the scene. All of a sudden a thought popped into his head, probably prompted by the mention of God. "Y'know... I still don't understand how it all works with our sexuality. I haven't ever been attracted to other guys".

"Me neither", Rhett shrugged. "And with you, it's not just your body, it's... you. I love you whole, Link, and it just doesn't seem wrong that you're a guy. Somehow".

Link chuckled. "I get what you're saying".

He looked out the window, where night was still dark. Here, in a motel lost somewhere on the road, he did feel not just allowed but obliged to be carefree. The concerns and worries were slowly melting away as he concentrated more and more on Rhett's arms wrapped around his shoulders, Rhett's scent filling his lungs with hope, Rhett's soft voice ensuring him that everything was alright. Link smiled.

"Kiss me again, bo".


	14. Chapter 14

Rhett did kiss him again, this time a lot more gingerly. It felt as if the uncharted territory was finally claimed and now the time came to carefully explore. Their hands touched again, Rhett shifting his position to hug Link's waist. All of a sudden they both broke into laughter.

"What?" Link giggled, looking into Rhett's eyes.

"I don't know, it's just... you're so toned. It's not really visible, but I used to go crazy just thinking about how your muscles feel", Rhett confessed, stroking Link's sides and finally nesting his palm on the small of Link's back.

"Wow", Link gulped after a short pause. It certainly was a terra nova, hearing Rhett say something like that. The sentiment was sensual and interesting, as Link tasted it ever so gently to decide what he could do with these words. Rhett's touch comforted him — just enough for Link to venture into his imaginary land for a brief moment. Of course, words came with a delay, as it was usual for him. "You telling me that... it's hot".

"I know", Rhett grinned so smugly Link had no choice but to kiss the smirk off his face, kiss so passionately it left Rhett gasping for air.

"You are such a dork", Link sighed. He hesitated before acting on his impulse, but finally got up with obvious reluctance. But just as he was about to explain, Rhett's face changed.

"What..."

Link grinned back at him, basking in the appreciation of just how clingy Rhett could be. How clingy Rhett could be — for him. The same Rhett everyone knew as the person who hated unnecessary touches, the same Rhett who put on the tough guy mask every once in a while, the same Rhett who publicly boasted about Link not really being all that close to him... Rhett was undeniably scared of causing Link to back off.

It wasn't like Link didn't care about what Rhett felt. He was allowed his three seconds of schadenfreude joy, though, right?

"We didn't buy all that stuff for nothin'. I'll go _shower_ first, you go second, and then we're not going anywhere until I say so".

In Link's mind, a shameful memory of certain incognito searches started rolling an infinite amount of stories he devoured from time to time. He didn't watch porn much, but indulging himself in erotic fiction was a whole another deal. Texts were not easy to decipher from behind his back, and he could always blame it on spam in his inbox. It was his own guilty pleasure — especially on those very special occasions where he caved in. On those nights he would be extra careful about locking the door, and his fingers would invariably mistype words as he frantically consumed stories about gay sex. They had nothing in common with reality, that he understood well; nonetheless, it educated him enough to know what 'power bottom' meant.

He also knew Rhett well enough to predict just how he would respond.

"If that's what you want", Rhett gulped, and Link knew how hungry the gaze that followed his ass was.

***

"Dang it!" Link heard from behind the bathroom door and chuckled. Having struggled with everything himself, he preferred for Rhett to learn the details of intimate hygiene on his own.

He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, a towel still draped over his thighs. Was it right for them to just dive into this ordeal the night they found out what both were hiding in plain sight? Were they ready for it?

The last question was really stupid, he had to admit. Of course, they were ready; after this incredible demonstration of patience, they both deserved at least a chance. He knew that to him, the opportunity to simply hold onto Rhett as tight as he could was everything. How could everything be not enough, though? How dared he dream of more, how did they end up in this motel room? How come his knees didn't turn into jelly at the first realization?

It didn't take Sherlock Holmes to deduce that the answer was habitually simple: Rhett. Rhett was the answer to almost all of Link's questions today ( _'What do you want, Link?'_ ). There could never be enough Rhett for him, Rhett inspired him to dare want more, Rhett supported him to be brave and face what he felt. Link was known to be reckless at times, but few people knew just how much he would regret most of such rash decisions. This one, however, had too much Rhett entangled into each fiber of the situation fabric. Link never regretted anything he did with Rhett.

Why didn't he then just go right into the bathroom with Rhett? It wasn't like he would witness anything too gross. They crossed that border of intimacy a long time ago. No, Link's true motivation was rather to give them both a little more time alone. The bond they were about to create required preparation. Any bond needs energy, and Link knew how tired Rhett was today after the hospital visit. Not that it would suffice for either of them to just get some sleep now that sex was so... possible. Rather, Link knew that some time for recharging would give Rhett an opportunity to gather himself enough for at least one round.

One was not enough. It wouldn't be enough even if it proved to be horrible, just because Link knew deep in his heart that their sex couldn't be anything other than amazing. Perfect — no, they would have to work on that for sure, but fantastic — without a doubt. At this point, a thought wouldn't even entertain Link that they could sate their hunger with anything less than a few days' worth of thoughtful building of their new physical connection.

An imaginary list popped up before his closed eyes. All the various scenarios he made in his mind about what he'd do with Rhett had he the chance.

Link straddling Rhett's hips and grinding their cocks together, waiting patiently for Rhett to whimper and groan and eventually snap. Rhett going down on Link and caressing his balls before running his tongue along Link's length. Link pinned down to the wall, Rhett lightly scratching his back and moving his fingertips in between the cheeks to tease and rub. Link getting a hold of Rhett's wrists and holding him down while slipping his fingers deep inside...

His inventory was interrupted very suddenly. The bathroom door opened, and Rhett stepped out, a towel around his thighs, water still running from his wet hair down on the bare chest.

Link's fantasies were no match for the objective reality. His gaze fixed on Rhett's neck, Link murmured. "Now that's a view".

"Ditto", Rhett echoed, and Link felt his palpable stare on his crotch. He didn't even realize that the towel did little to cover up his body now (and, of course, he couldn't even guess how magnificent he looked to Rhett).

"C'mere", Link ordered with a smile. Being in a position of power like this, in short bursts, had its appeal. He watched Rhett carefully lower himself onto the mattress and helped him get comfortable as to not hurt his back. They shared a chaste kiss while snuggling in between pillows, which startled Link. Kisses became the new norm way too quickly, he thought.

"It's weird", Rhett whispered to him as he hugged Link's chest in a protective manner. "It's all so weird, holding you, knowing we can do whatever".

"Having cold feet?" Link raised his eyebrows. Waves of nervous goosebumps hit his own skin now, and each movement seemed strained. He thought about just how scared they both were. It was an impossible scenario, one out of a dream; yet here they were, naked, touching each other in a way that provided no easy cop-outs.

"Of course not. But I can't choose what I want to do first". Rhett's hand reached Link's and brushed against the back of the palm. Immediately, he cringed. "No, wait, I know. Let's just..."

Link understood. Without saying anything, he quietly took his wedding band off. It was certainly tempting to fiddle with it for a minute, just like he did sometimes during filming, but now was not the time. These tiny pieces of metal were the last barriers they had, and the sooner they got rid of the distraction, the better.

"Can I ask you for the last time?" Link murmured, putting both rings on the nightstand.

Rhett hesitated and slowly nodded in agreement. His arms were again wrapped around Link's torso — even though there was so much space between them because of all the anxiety.

"Do you really want me?" Link asked and bit his lip nervously. The question was as old as their friendship; it was as old as Link's constant fear of losing Rhett completely.

Rhett did reply as always, though.

"I will always want you, Link".


	15. Chapter 15

Rhett hesitated before putting his arm around Link's waist this time. This certainly was a first — a first time he truly, honestly put Link above anything else, moved him to the top of the list, made sure nothing could distract him from devoting his all only to Link. The feeling engulfed his fears, and as though he'd gone through the motions a million times already, Rhett's fingers traced Link's spine. Skin to skin, he clung onto the sensation of utter familiarity that was inexplicably novel.

The simplicity of touching Link's back with his palm, the stroke that molded tense muscles into softness, the coiled desire clashing against longing for tenderness.

"You are a paradox", Rhett whispered into Link's ear, his nose brushing against the short-trimmed hair above the temple.

"How so?"

The blue eyes. They never failed to leave Rhett speechless with the way they glimmered in the dark, the color deepening as the night lured Link into its embrace. Rhett especially liked the expression of childish bemusement which Link somehow managed to save and carry throughout the years. Link stayed true to the open-minded giggly child who loved Rhett with all his heart ever since they met. They stayed close and developed the unique flavor of best friendship; they argued and fought so aggressively sometimes both spewed hate in the heat of the moment, the hate that left each regretful afterwards. To Rhett's amazement, though, Link also contained within himself the wisdom of a five year old, not yet tarnished with the cruelty of the big world. How could Rhett possibly convey all of this to him now?

"I used to think that the reason why I couldn't sleep at night was your inner child. Your openness", Rhett hugged him tighter. Telling Link the truth was akin to moving the heaviest rocks from one place to another; the most pointless task, because Rhett was sure Link already knew everything he was about to say. Still, he continued. "I thought to myself that my heart only skipped a beat when I saw you fool around, sing me silly songs, do improv at the spur of the moment. I guess it was easier that way — if I convinced myself that your charm was irresistible to anyone, I didn't have to deal with what I felt. But then we grew older. Our business got bigger, too, and I couldn't lie anymore. The truth is... I saw you tired beyond the limits and still joking around with the crew to keep up their spirit. I tried to wrap my head around how you can show off your silly wide-eyed child side on camera, and then the second you stand up, you are the most sensible adult I've ever known. You are a father, a husband, a son, and still, for some reason, you stuck with me. My only wish for the past few years has been... kinda hard to phrase it..." Rhett hesitated. This particular moment of sharing something with Link got his heartbeat up more than any physical act they could engage in. Opening up and being as vulnerable as he was, Rhett compared himself to a lobster pulled out of his shell. He dealt with a lot of fright today with the attacks of akathisia, and it wouldn't be fair to say that the roller coaster now was scarier; nonetheless, it terrified him to think that Link wouldn't understand.

Link did respond to his fear and pausing. He snuggled up next to Rhett, breathing something inaudible into his chest. That was quite enough to give Rhett his final push.

"I've only wished for this to never end. Both us being friends and partners, and my own awe at how amazing it is. I don't want to get used to this, to take it for granted, because that way, I can invent new ways of making you happy", he murmured into Link's hair and gently kissed his temple.

By the way Link held his breath, Rhett did recognize just how important this moment was. Instinctively, he remembered Link's ecstatic smile on the day they bathed in cereal. That day, Link also kept his silence for a long time, only allowing so much footage to be actually useful. Rhett never told Link how painfully beautiful he was when he smiled like that — but apparently Link knew, because right now he smiled the same way.

"I love it when you let me in", Link whispered and kissed Rhett's lips again. "Your honesty is the biggest turn on, Rhett".

"Huh", Rhett exhaled and moved one hand lower to cup Link's buttcheek. The motion wasn't obscene or vulgar, but it sent electricity down both of their spines. Rhett inhaled sharply through his teeth and looked Link in the eyes. "Where do we start?"

"Do you wanna go first?" Link laughed. He was caressing Rhett's arms, and the touch, light as air, brought about arousal that Rhett didn't expect.

"You mean, on top?"

"Yeah. I don't care", Link nodded casually, and Rhett once again raised his eyebrows. He marvelled at Link's ability to throw all worries away and enjoy the now. His own mind was laced with concerns of accidentally harming Link, of not being on top of his game (which, admittedly, was a ridiculous suggestion as the hard-on was already raging), of disappointing Link, of lacking tact — or assertiveness.

Link was always pushing him forward, and now wasn't an exception. The thought of Link squirming under his touch, whimpering unintelligible curse words, digging his fingernails into the sheets... Rhett shut his eyes for a brief instant, gathering his thoughts.

The next second, he ran his fingers down the curve of Link's buttocks, parting them ever so lightly. He did his best to keep breathing as his fingertips grazed the silky smooth texture, so different from everything he ever experienced.

"Oh", Link gasped and looked up at Rhett. "That's a first".

"Keep talking to me", Rhett's gaze was dead serious, and he knew Link would recognize the gravity. Even with his wife, Rhett never thought about sex being... a risky affair. He never thought this much about being careful, he never felt this protective before, but with Link, love and concern came together. In Rhett's mind, Link deserved the very best. "I don't want to hurt you".

"Then get the lube", Link replied, and a smile touched his lips. He ran his fingertips against Rhett's cheekbone and blew him a kiss.

Rhett blushed. He often took on the responsibility of being the older partner with Link, but right now he felt like a virgin again. It was stupid and groundless, but for a number of reasons he kept telling himself that sex with Link was way too complicated to handle.

He did want it, though. The desire was burning slowly but steadily, and Rhett took the plunge.

"Hand me that pillow", he commanded to Link and helped him lie down on his back with the pillow right under the butt. Now positioned in between Link's legs (not exactly an unfamiliar situation, but now Rhett could really _see_ what he's been missing out on). The silence that ensued made Link uncomfortable, as he tried to bring his thighs closer together; Rhett didn't let him.

"You're beautiful", he murmured, taking in the view and barely holding up to not start lapping at the drops of precum. "I'm sorry it took us so long, honestly".

Link hummed something quietly, and Rhett noticed he shut his eyes tight. It didn't take a genius to understand that pleasure was mixed with embarrassment. Rhett didn't need any more hints, either.

"Link", he called, grazing his fingers along Link's inner thighs. "Link, trust me. I really love you. All of you. Everything's alright, bo, no, it's better than alright, it's _magical_ ".

And then he felt the light, the blue light that shone upon him down from Link's impossible eyes, now wide open. Rhett smiled back at him, and the urge to be careful forced him to ask quietly. "Would it be alright if I kissed you here?"

He didn't wait for an answer, though; he took the chance and covered the length of Link's cock with gentle kisses. Ideas came racing through his mind as he planted his lips on the chiffony skin, moving up and down the shaft, taking the time to savor the delicacy of Link's thighs. He ran the tip of his tongue down the scrotum and pushed a little at the tight muscle ring. He didn't dare go any further than that just yet; seemingly, that was still enough for Link to whimper.

"Oh my goodness... Rhett, you're..."

"I haven't even started yet", Rhett smirked as he reached for the lube.


	16. Chapter 16

"Rhett!" Link whimpered, trying to get away from the embracive hands and simultaneously melting even more into the hold. He felt as if none of what they experienced throughout their lives — their life — really mattered anymore. Link was again his teenage self, innocent and ignorant of what sex really meant. Somehow, Rhett's touch was so different from what Link was used to doing with all the other people. With women.

"Want me to stop?" Rhett smirked as he stroked Link's cock one more time. His fingers slick from lube, the touch delivered all kinds of wonderfully wrong messages to Link's conscious. He gulped.

"No, no, please, don't... I just... it's so much, I'm afraid I might..."

"Don't worry. We have all the time in the world now", Rhett whispered as his head bobbed down. The faintest hint of the tip of Rhett's tongue brushing against his cock was enough to make Link almost jump, and he groaned again. He looked in Rhett's eyes, stupefied by the view.

It wasn't like he never got a blowjob, of course. Every time it unavoidably made him feel uncomfortable deep inside, and he was pretty sure it stemmed from his own dislike for the control freak side of his psyche: letting go was a skill he failed to learn again and again. Being in a position of such raw power brought him distress in form of feeling all too dominant, and that Link never was. He wanted his loved ones to be cared for, not ordered around.

With Rhett, though, it was different. With Rhett's strong hands on his hips, with his hungry, _carnivorous_ gaze, Link felt nearly helpless and ready to surrender. What Rhett did with his mouth was an assertion of dominance in and of itself, it was akin to claiming territory. Paradoxically, Link liked it.

He watched intently as the length of his cock slowly disappeared in Rhett's mouth, engulfed and embraced by the warm velvet. He suddenly remembered to breathe and sucked in air through his teeth — just in time to exhale as Rhett's fingers found their way around his anus. Relaxed just enough to register the intrusion, Link murmured: "Feels...", fully intent to continue with _'weird'_.

As the word was ready to leave his lips, Rhett reached for his prostate and pushed.

Now, it wasn't weird at all. It was...

"Fuck", Link exhaled. His world shrank to the pinpoint at the tip of Rhett's fingers, and it instantaneously radiated all through his body in form of heat. He dug his nails into the sheets as hard as he could to just keep himself from coming.

"Oh, you like it?" Rhett grinned as he raised his head. His fingers still inside Link, he seemed so confident once again. A thought crossed Link's mind that he, too, wanted to do all the same, to show Rhett what it really felt like...

"I don't want to come from... this", Link breathed heavily as he stared down Rhett's eyes. "I want you inside me".

"Then you'll have to wait", Rhett regained the remains of his seriousness, apparently, even as Link was able to see all the greed on his face. "I don't want to hurt you".

Link paused for a moment. With how long it was going to take (not that he was talking from experience), was he sure? Was their first time really going to be so slow-paced, such a sweet torture?

Then he caught a glimpse of Rhett's smile and smiled back. There couldn't be any other answer, really: with Rhett, all he wanted was to try. They still had a lot of things to try, and tonight was perfect to start.

"Go for it, bo", Link purred softly and licked his lips. "I trust you".

Rhett amazed him at all times, every single day that they've known each other. Stubborn past the point of breaking, his stamina feeding off of pride, Rhett was, nonetheless, complex, with all the attitudes covering up what only Link was allowed to see: the kindness, the grace, the selfless ease with which Rhett devoted himself to what he cared for. Right now, at this moment, it was this Rhett that Link longed for; and it was this Rhett who delivered. He explored Link's body with his lips and fingers, pressing gently into the points that made sense and those which surprised even Link; he added lube as he slowly moved the fingers of his other hand inside, so careful and attentive that Link could only vaguely guess what was really happening.

"If it wasn't you, I'd've lost my patience by now", Rhett mumbled under his breath, and Link chuckled with fondness. He tousled Rhett's hair.

"If it wasn't you, I'd've wanted the same. But I want to keep the magic real".

By the look on Rhett's face, Link realized just how strained his words sounded now that he was so aroused. He was breathing heavily, and by the time they both chose to shut up, Link could only mouth curses silently.

"You're so hot", he heard Rhett whisper. Link's mind was already clouded, and the last of what he remembered doing actively was throw a condom right at Rhett's chest.

"Fuck me", he growled and spread his legs wider. He craved more.

He didn't have to ask Rhett twice. The sound of condom packet ripping became music; another portion of lube felt hot, not cold; Rhett leaning in to kiss him was magical. Link grabbed Rhett by his sides to direct the movement, but it proved to be needless. Miraculously, Rhett still advanced slowly, his eyes full of care. He whispered something sickeningly sweet into Link's ear and nibbled on the earlobe, and finally, Link felt Rhett's cock start to push deeper.

"Gosh", he exhaled, closing his eyes and craving another kiss. In an unfathomable turn of events, they were doing it at last. Link's mind, flooded with past fantasies and future prospects, embraced the change, and finally, he was able to let go. "Fuck me, Rhett", he pleaded.

And Rhett did. He released the brakes and gave it his all to only move gentle enough to not hurt. His hands wandered around until grabbing a hold of Link's slim waist; his lips aimlessly left scalding kisses all over Link's neck until stopping right on top of a pulsing artery. Dumbfounded with the waves of desire hitting them both, neither halted even for a second. Link pulled Rhett closer and closer, balancing between the pain, still present, and pleasure which tided him over.

"I love you", Rhett said under his breath, his hips rolling back and forth.

"Love you too", Link looked back, struggling to keep his eyes open just to take in the view of Rhett's smile. He shifted just a bit, and suddenly, the world went dark for just a brief moment as Rhett hit his prostate again. And again. And again. "Oh goodness... I'm gonna..."

"Come for me", were the last words Link heard before the orgasm shrouded him in Rhett's warm embrace.

***

"Wow", Link uttered. His gaze lazily brushed over Rhett lying by his side. He was still out of breath. "That was... something".

"Yup", Rhett nodded briefly and closed his eyes. "Told you it'd be".

"You were right", Link smirked, full aware of just how much Rhett loved these three little words. "I never thought you were so... good".

"What, not even in your fantasies?" Rhett tried to act offended, but slipped into a relaxed smile halfway through the sentence.

"Imaginary Rhett is different from you", Link hugged him tight. "You are a thousand times better".

Evidently, Rhett's ego couldn't have been stroked more fittingly, as he beamed with pride. 

Having put his head on Rhett's chest now, their legs intertwined, Link sighed with content: everything felt right. Their hips and crotches sticky with lube and semen, bodies sweaty, lips swollen, it still was more right than anything Link ever wanted.

"What are you thinking 'bout?" Rhett asked softly, his fingers making a mess of Link's hair.

"How this is wrong on so many levels that it has to be right", Link laughed. "I'm happy".

"Happier than in that giant cereal bowl?" Rhett pinched his side and kissed the top of Link's head.

"Yes", Link answered without hesitation. 

He was about to kiss Rhett again, when two things happened at roughly the same time. His phone started vibrating — and Rhett bit his own lip hard enough for it to bleed.

"Not again", he heard Rhett curse as Link's own reaction to blood started to kick in.


	17. Chapter 17

He felt as though he was about to faint; the amount of blood that appeared on Rhett's lip was enough to make him feel loopy.

"Bo, talk to me?" he pleaded, looking at Rhett and trying not to hug him too tight. "I know you're worse off than me, but I really need it right now. You're bleeding".

"Shit. Sorry", Rhett exhaled through his teeth and protectively wrapped his arm around Link's head, allowing him to bury his face in Rhett's chest to avoid seeing the blood. "It's just... ugh, I need to walk".

"You are exhausted. Just hold me and try to fall asleep. You can even kick around", Link offered softly, shifting his position a little bit. He snuggled up close to Rhett and tried to forget the vibration: it was bound to be a Twitter notification or something. Nobody could text him this late at night — except Rhett, who he didn't quite see texting in the past few minutes. So maybe it was an e-mail.

What mattered now was that Rhett struggled. Link saw it all too well, his face contorted into a grimace. He was panting, and his nails dug into the skin on the back of Link's neck. Akathisia must have been starting to subside, if one was to compare Rhett's paleness now and during the last attack; it was nonetheless scary. Link heard Rhett's heartbeat through the ribcage, and it was unbearably painful to know that there was nothing he could do, really.

"If you want, we can pace the room. I'll help you", he offered in the end, seeing as Rhett wouldn't fall asleep any time soon.

"Nah, you're right, it's pointless", Rhett exhaled and clung onto him even closer, hugging Link as tight as he could. "Just... stay with me".

"I'm not going anywhere, bo. I'm here", Link looked up in his eyes with the tiniest bit of reproval in the gaze. It must have been the attack talking, because how could Rhett ever even think of Link abandoning him? 

"Gosh, this is just... it sucks me dry", Rhett angrily spat out, trying to slow down his breathing. He didn't even notice Link's smirk at first; when he managed to get distracted, though, he raised his eyebrows. "What's so funny?"

"I could do a better job at sucking you dry", Link laughed, then burying his face in Rhett's chest. Somehow, being this honest to the point of obscenity didn't feel like a strained attempt at restoring atmosphere. No, this kind of humor wasn't a defense mechanism — instead, Link just let go. Rhett's smile was the best reason to joke. Link did want to calm him, too. "It'll pass soon. I think it might be one of the last attacks, if not the very last one".

"Well, if you say so, doctor", Rhett begrudgingly agreed and ruffled Link's hair. He then smirked as his other hand cupped Link's buttock. "I never thought you were so into dirty talking".

"Really?" Link was sincerely surprised: with how often he slipped into innuendos in everyday life, it seemed as if Rhett would pick up on this kink of his. "I do it all the time, even on camera".

"Yeah, but I don't", Rhett shrugged with a grin. "And I still like it in the bedroom".

"Good to know", Link smiled. He listened to Rhett's heartbeat some more and nodded with satisfaction. "I'm glad it's going down".

"I know. It's something about you, didn't I say so?" Rhett yawned. "You are the best medicine".

Link didn't expect himself to blush. After all, their connection was so deep and intimate for so long, it was kind of expected of him to know what Rhett needed. Still, it felt unusually warm for his importance to be acknowledged. "Ahem..."

"Want to check your phone?" Rhett proposed, smiling at his blush. He licked his lips to get rid of the blood and then yawned again. "I think I'm about to fall asleep".

"Finally", Link sighed, brushing his fingertips against Rhett's bicep and gently covering his shoulders with the sheet. "You should get some rest. A lot, actually".

"Yeah, I should. You too, bo", Rhett agreed in his sleepy voice that Link grew to love so fondly over the years. He remembered the first time he heard it, back at their first ever sleepover; Rhett's voice was still high-pitched. Link stayed up a little longer then, and as he slowly succumbed to the innocent childhood dreams, he watched Rhett's smile. Even though they couldn't have ever predicted how incredibly close they would become, Link was sure he would carry the memory of that smile as something invaluably beautiful. And that he did, because at this moment, Rhett was smiling again, just as peacefully.

"Sweet dreams", Link whispered, letting his hand linger against Rhett's soft beard. Overwhelmed with emotions, he did find enough power in himself to get up and snatch the phone from the back pocket of his jeans (neatly folded on the chair, they were a nice contrast to Rhett's tangled heap of clothes thrown on the floor). 

He briefly saw that the notification was for an e-mail from Jen. He knew she liked to sometimes get up insanely early. Perhaps, it was one of those days, when she decided to do a crossfit practice before the break of dawn?

They were officially on their break, though, so the e-mail couldn't have possibly contained anything important. Link yawned wide and put the phone on the night stand. Whatever it was, it could wait until the morning.

***

They woke up well past noon. Apparently, their phones have been going off all morning with the alarms, calls from their wives, and notifications about their missed flight; the flashes and vibrations instantaneously brought Rhett up to the boiling point of his annoyance upon opening his eyes.

"Fuck", he exhaled under his breath. Link was spooning him intimately, his warmth being enough compensation for the snatched covers. Rhett smiled briefly and tried to untangle himself from Link as carefully as he could, but immediately his back reminded of its existence. "Fuck", he repeated.

"That can wait until after breakfast", Link yawned and smiled. "Morning".

"More like afternoon", Rhett sighed. "I think we should check our phones. What was that thing at night?"

"Oh, just an e-mail from Jen. Probably a draft of the holiday greeting post", Link shrugged and grabbed his phone. His eyes still half-closed, he scrolled through the endless feed. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Rhett get up and fish out his phone from the pile on the floor.

The next moment, though, they both yelled out of surprise.

"What the..." Rhett gasped for air and turned to Link, his face unfathomably panicked.

"...fuck", Link finished the sentence and looked back at the screen. The e-mail from Jen was obviously not something he could've postponed. "I am an idiot. That was exactly what Jen sent me".

Rhett continued to stare at the picture: him and Link at the self-checkout, his head on Link's shoulder, arms wrapped around his waist. The angle wasn't great, and the quality could've been better, but there was no denial of the fact it was definitely them. Rhett darted his gaze to the bottom corner of the picture: more than a thousand shares already. A lot more likes and a ton of comments.

"It's out", his voice dropped. Breathing heavily, he sat back on the bed and extended his arm toward Link's. Only when they touched, did he feel a little better. "No going back".

"Well, not like we never hugged in public", Link gulped and indecisively scratched his forehead. "We could say it was a dare or a scene for a future music video".

"Jen'll figure it out. She and Stevie are good at that kind of thing", Rhett buried his face in the sheets and growled. "We should've been more careful".

Link looked at him and gently stroked Rhett's hair. On his face, there was the smile Rhett haven't seen for a long time: soft and apologetic, the one telling that Link was deeply sorry. It must've been ages since Link felt this guilty.

"I should've thought of that", Link gulped and hung his head. "You were worn out, and I was... Gosh, no, I _am_ in love with you. But it's no excuse for risking everything".

"It's not an excuse", Rhett chuckled and shifted to hug Link's waist again. It took him some time to start talking again, but then his voice was strong again. "It's just something we'll adjust to, buddyroll. There isn't anything we can't do together, and we'll think what to do. Now, on a more pertinent matter, we do need to call our families and tell them we're not coming today".

Link clung to him for a moment of peace. In his mind, he was still freaking out about what happened, about how many Tumblr fans were now cheering on and how many Facebook fans were swiftly unsubscribing from their channel. Trembling, he resisted the urge to check the YouTube statistics. Rhett seemed himself again, with no sign of yesterday's illnesses showing. Now, he again was "the businessman", and that meant Link could afford being "the boy" for just a second.

"We do need to call them, but what do we say?" Link contemplated out loud. "I don't want to start telling the truth before I can look them in the eye".

"Me neither. You know, now we actually have a good reason — there is a lot of traction online, and we need to tend to this", Rhett proposed.

"So let Jess and Christy see what we're up to?" Link raised his eyebrows. "They are not fans, they will see right through this if they catch a glimpse of the picture".

"How likely are they to check what it is that kept us in LA? Remember, it's Jess and Christy, they don't Google us," Rhett scoffed. "And even if they do see it... Well, we already have to explain ourselves, so what bad can it do?"

Link kept quiet for some time. but then nodded. "I guess you're right. I'll take the bathroom, you call from here. When are we going home, by the way?"

"I don't know, maybe in a few days? Before Christmas?" Rhett suggested.

"Sounds good".

They always found their way out of any trouble, didn't they?


	18. Chapter 18

"Christy?" Link clung to the phone as if it could really embody his wife. Fingers clutched against the rubber of the case, he caught a glimpse of guilt somewhere at the back of his mind. Even though he and Rhett talked about it, even though he saw it in Rhett's eyes that they were in their right to do this, he still felt guilty. He also knew this sensation of not feeling completely absolved would not go away until they came clean; Rhett was in no position to grant him exculpation. They were guilty, together.

"Link? Shouldn't you be on the plane?" His wife sounded genuinely surprised. The news hadn't reached her yet, and that was a good sign.

"I... no, we didn't board. Something came up, and it's a bit of a mess right now. We need to take care of it ourselves", Link gulped. At least it wasn't another lie.

"Is it about Rhett? I knew it wasn't just a food poisoning", Christy said confidently, as she always did.

"No, no, he's feeling fine, it's just an... Internet thing. I promise we'll make it home before Christmas", Link blurted out as fast as he could, hoping she wouldn't hear the notes of panic in his voice when he mentioned the 'thing'.

"Is something wrong? Link, should I be worried?"

"Please don't be", he pleaded, grasping the phone as hard as he could and shutting his eyes even tighter. "Everything's fine. We'll explain when we get home".

_We_. It sounded so natural yesterday, and today it seemed like the heaviest stone on his tongue. Rhett and Link, the ultimate 'we' in his life was now the hardest thing to utter, simply because never before was it so gravely true. In his mind, Link calculated possible reactions from his wife, tried to hear it from her perspective. Did he sound different now? Was it at all audible in his voice that... that the most prominent overwhelming thing about him right now was his sheer ecstasy? Could Christy pick up on just how inexorably happy he was in spite of everything?

"Well, then I hope it'll make a fun story at the Christmas table", Christy laughed. "Not the first time you guys take your time with getting off work. Will you have any time for a Skype call? Lando misses you a lot".

"I'll make sure to call you guys tonight before his bedtime", Link promised, making a mental note of the fact they had to move to a different location. A motel was not an appropriate background for his son to see. "And Christy... thank you. I love you".

"Love you, too", she smiled and hung up.

Link searched inside his mind for any signs of relief. Nil. He wasn't comforted by the thought his wife was happily oblivious; he felt disgustingly dirty. Having climbed into the shower, though, he bit his lip. The urge to learn how Rhett's call home turned out to be, the desire to touch him again and again and again, the overwhelming bliss of having the privilege... all of it made him jump out of the tub and open the door.

"Hey", he looked at Rhett who just put his phone on the night stand. "How did it go?"

"Fine", Rhett smiled just a tad sadly. "Jessie's glad I'm fine. The boys miss me, but overall, they're okay with us coming later".

It didn't escape Link's attention how Rhett also used 'we'. The change would slip from anyone who wasn't familiar with how protective they both were of their individuality outside of work, but Link knew better. They were synchronous in fighting for the right to be separate, and now they seamlessly glided into being indivisible. It made Link smile — and, at the same time, he wished to give and receive the much needed comfort.

"Bo", he invited Rhett to join him with an intimate gesture. "C'mere. Just don't think about the lie for a while, just... for this moment. We need to take a shower, and then we'll come up with a plan for today. And then for the week. And for the rest of forever. Okay?"

Rhett raised his gaze and stared at him for so long Link started to wonder if anything he said was wrong, painful, inappropriate — but then Rhett whispered quietly. "How do you do it? How do you ground me so well?"

Link smiled as he watched Rhett get up and come closer. He had to crane his neck now that Rhett's chest was almost pressed into his, but somehow it didn't shift the dynamic. "Could it be because I love you?" he suggested, hugging Rhett's waist. "And I want you to be happy and safe. It helps a lot when so much is going on".

"You are the most unbelievable, inconceivable thing in the world, Link", Rhett growled, holding him in his arms. "You are a dork and a goofball, yet somehow in moments like these, you always know how to be smart. I love you so much", he finished abruptly to kiss Link quite passionately — so much so that his glasses fogged up.

"Hey, warn me next time, I'll take them off", Link protested jokingly and pulled Rhett to step in the bathtub together. "Come on".

He turned his back to Rhett momentarily to leave his glasses on a shelf, and it didn't surprise him to hear Rhett curse at the ice cold water that first spouted from the shower. He had the same reaction yesterday. What did surprise him, though, was Rhett's protective move to shield Link from the stream: sweet as it was, it was also sexy.

"I'd survive some cold water", he chuckled, running his palm down Rhett's back and buttocks. Feeling his skin so hot in contrast with the chilly air of the bathroom turned him on, too.

"You turn into an icicle any time it gets colder than 75 degrees", Rhett scoffed and turned to face him, only to discover Link descending to his knees. "What..."

Link smirked at him from below, caressing his cock and planting a kiss on the head. "I want you, Rhett. Just go slow, it's my... first", he laughed, mind flooded with all the times he had to say these words about all the innocent stuff like food and movies. A lot of first-s, but this one was sure to gain Rhett's approval. Link ran his tongue up and down the shaft.

"Fuck", Rhett exhaled, putting his hand on top of Link's head. He had to lean back on the wall to take another breath. "Link, you're..."

Instead of responding, Link put his lips on the head and slowly tongued the slit. The motion was swift, the taste wonderful, ever so ephemeral. To Link, however, the magic came from letting go one more time, the decision that with Rhett came all too quick: he relinquished the lust for control, replacing it with the all-encompassing love for Rhett. Sucking him dry turned out to be a much easier task than he expected, given that Rhett's taste wasn't gag worthy in the least. The silky skin and slick sensation of precum on his tongue made for an interesting exploration. The most satisfying sounds emerged from deep inside Rhett's chest, as he almost purred in response to Link taking the length further down his throat.

"Link... Oh my god... I'm about to..." Rhett whimpered incoherently, gripping Link's hair at the roots and straining not to thrust his hips. Link, however, nonplussed even himself when he didn't pull back and instead let the semen flow onto his tongue. Again, the taste seemed all too familiar to be weirded out; it was as if he knew it all along. It did take him a good minute to get back up, but when he did, Rhett pulled him in for yet another passionate kiss.

"If you're gonna be this grateful every time I do it, I might think of a way to use it to my advantage", Link coarsely laughed, clinging to Rhett's chest.

"Well, in my defense, you are suspiciously good at blowjobs. You sure it's your first one?" Rhett joked in response and grabbed a bar of soap from the shelf.

***

"Stevie? How's it going?" Rhett asked in the most nonchalant way possible, leaning back in the passenger seat. "Yeah, we are still in California. If you want, we can drop by the office in about an hour. No, everything's fine, but we did want to discuss the whole picture thing".

Link darted a glance at him and then decided to concentrate on driving, as the freeway was much more crowded in daytime. He got passed by a fancy sports car in quite an unnerving manner, and a couple of other drivers honked at him for some inexplicable reason, but he couldn't even try to bother. Everything really was fine. If not for...

"What?.." Rhett's voice dropped to a new low. "Right now? Okay, we are going to be there as soon as we can".

Link looked at him in a realization that nothing good could come out of this intonation. He gulped. "What now?"

"Someone released a video of me hugging you there. The picture was just a still. Stevie and Jen can't find the person who is doing all this", Rhett explained brusquely, almost barking the end of the sentence. He did correct himself at once, to be fair. "Bo, it's... not that bad. We'll deal with it. It's not the most important thing, right?"

Link hesitated but smiled. "You're right. Our love is more important than that".

What neither of them noticed was that Rhett failed to finish the call.


	19. Chapter 19

Link parked the car next to Stevie's and turned slightly to open the door. It was then when Rhett caught the fleeting moment of serene beauty: Link's profile, brightened by the rays of sunset; the faint mixture of worry and sadness in his furrowed brows; a gaze, yearning for what seemed to be engulfed by merciless time. Rhett imbibed the shadow of his fear and silently agreed that this moment was not designed to be fleeting. Its transience and brevity were certainly production defects, because what they both deserved was nothing short of eternity. Momentarily, Rhett sensed the impending doom, the big shockwave that was bound to make this all go away. It startled him.

The realization that it was an illusion, that in reality, they did have all the time they wanted, came with breathing in. He took in the smell of Link's deodorant and shampoo, but the scent was too faint.

Rhett pulled Link into his embrace and held him as tight as he could. No matter what videos might have been taken of them at this point, it couldn't have become worse anyway. Another hug on the parking lot of their own studio would not add anything incriminating.

"Is anything wrong?" Link asked softly, neither breaking the hug nor pulling away. He put his hands on Rhett's arms to squeeze gently, and then he smiled. That was enough magic in his eyes right then to bring Rhett back from the sinister fantasy place where all they had was this moment.

"No. Everything is right when you're here", Rhett mumbled into his hair. After a short pause, he did admit. "I just... for some reason, I felt as if this was all going to be ruined in a few moments. That we can't have this any longer".

Link chuckled and clasped his arms around Rhett's waist. He looked up, and only upon establishing firm eye contact did he say with paramount gravity. "We will have this forever, no matter what".

In the words he did not care to shape into something coherent, Rhett heard what he needed to know: _'You are the most important person for me'_ , _'After all these years of waiting, we deserve at least as much together'_ , _'For us, solutions were never a problem'_ , and, finally, _'I love you'_. It brought the relief he longed for. 

"How can you be sure?" he asked, nonetheless, trying to shoo away all the remaining sadness.

"Because I intend to stay. I will stand by your side for as long as we both want it, and for me, it's that long", Link said and pointed to the horizon. "As long as it takes to reach the sunset".

That was sappy. Two days ago, Rhett would have teased Link without remorse, tickle him into pleading for mercy and laugh it all off; today, he felt tears welling up in his eyes. As cheesy as it was to hear Link promise him eternity, it meant a lot more for them, who already spent thirty odd years together.

"Dork", Rhett affectionately tousled Link's hair and planted a chaste kiss on his forehead. He smiled. "I love you. And... if it takes that long to reach the sunset, then you have me for twice the time. I'll stay".

"I know", Link smiled again and hugged him one more time before letting go. "Now, let's go inside and deal with this mess".

Rhett nodded and headed into the building first. Link, who followed suit, noticed someone move in the window, and thus he wasn't very surprised to see Stevie face them right upon entering the doorway.

"So it is true", she said, looking at them calmly. "Well, you guys managed to take care of my first question before we started anyway".

Rhett instinctively stepped to Link's side, touching his hand in seek of support. It confused even him, the way he accepted their closeness, the way the old habits got replaced with new ones after just one night in a cheap motel. Now, he was ready to step closer to Link at any point their atomic inseparability was under threat. It did cool him down to feel Link squeeze his fingers.

"What are you talking about?" Rhett asked after clearing his throat.

"The video. I was wondering if it was maybe just a clever edit, but after the call and now this hug, I at least know you two did get closer", Stevie explained, looking at Rhett with a bit of a challenge in her eyes. "You didn't finish that call, and you guys said something about your love. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it's important for us to have a starting point".

Link stepped forward and calmly suggested. "Let's move to our office first. Then we'll tell you what is going on. It's better to discuss our strategy when everyone's on the same page".

Stevie stared at him as if Link was a ghost, and so did Rhett. Right now, Link wasn't his usual self; his tone more commanding yet inviting, speech not inhibited by the bullshit business slang, he looked more calm and collected than ever. He suddenly matured into the type of person Rhett admired the most: those who could make decisions sternly but wisely.

"Okay", Stevie finally agreed, darting a look at Rhett. She smiled quietly as they walked towards the room and made themselves comfortable in their chairs.

"So, to start off", Link started speaking first again, taking the lead and giving Rhett some time to recollect his thoughts. "Yes, the video is a true capture. We did go to that pharmacy, Rhett did hug me. I think you also have the right to know that our relationship changed since yesterday. Without going into details: we love each other, and we express it in a more intimate way now".

Rhett looked at him, trying to decipher why Link decided to not go into a lot of detail. Between the two, he was always the more closed one, not inclined to brag about his personal achievements or anything more intimate than daily events they put in the show. Only Rhett knew how protective Link was of anything personal, anything he could hold on to and claim: with how he grew up, it wasn't exactly surprising that Link's possessiveness would find its way into their adult lives. Rhett didn't expect, though, to feel Link become so greedy about the details of their relationship. He himself felt no desire to hide — at least not from Stevie.

"We... I guess, we hid it from each other for a very long time, and yesterday we finally confessed", Rhett chimed into Link's speech and sighed. "Listen, I know it's visible in the video. I rewatched it a couple of times while we drove here. Any Tumblr fan will deconstruct the story pretty quickly: there are condoms, lube, and whatnot. What you deserve to know, Stevie, is that it was the first time".

Stevie looked back at them both and suddenly burst into laughter: "The way you come out of the closet, guys, is pretty adorable".

Rhett noticed Link's blush out of the corner of his eye. He knew there would be some shame involved, with the way they both were raised; Link was affected by it less than he, but the notion of 'sin' still lingered. That was not acceptable by any standards; nothing in their relationship should have damaged Link, not on Rhett's watch. That was why he hurried to interject.

"We aren't yet comfortable with discussing our sexuality and what our new... level of intimacy implies. You know we are not homophobic, but give us some time, please".

Stevie was silent for a few seconds before mustering a nod. Her voice sounded fragile and almost broken, when she spoke next. "I don't want to force you into anything, but it is a huge deal for me, too. I won't be comfortable if anything you guys release in response to the situation is going to be..."

"Don't worry", Link cut her short abruptly and looked at Rhett. "We will do our best to be sincere".

"Yeah, but what should we do? Release a statement on social media?" Rhett contemplated, shifting his gaze from Link to Stevie. "Or would a video be a better idea?"

Stevie relaxed. Her posture, tense and nervous before, was now more of a slouch, and she audibly exhaled at Link's words. That was one of the reasons both Rhett and Link appreciated her in the workplace: she could always collect herself really quickly. When Stevie started to think, she came up with ideas at breakneck speed, and she managed the skill of persuasion masterfully. Right now, it was exactly what all of them needed.

"I think, it would be best for you two to mention it briefly in a special holiday edition of GMM. We will record an episode of you reminiscing about something Christmas-themed, and then you will just say something about the video in passing", she started to brainstorm. Link, however, did not buy into the proposal.

"Isn't it a little too nonchalant? I mean, first of all, we didn't plan for anything like that for the hiatus, and it will seem weird if we suddenly release an episode when we firmly said we were on our break", he bit his lip. "I propose an actual explanation video".

"It's hard to predict the reaction", Rhett shrugged, massaging the bridge of his nose and shuffling the thoughts in his head. "But I do think that it should be a separate video. Maybe on the main channel?" He looked at Stevie. "We could potentially do a quick skit with no props or crew required, not the first time anyway. Something filmed in our office to give off the vibes of intimacy and letting them in on personal stuff".

Link looked at him and nodded. "Maybe a sketch on how ridiculous it is that guys are not allowed to touch each other all that much. And then in the card, we could actually say that what the hug in the pharmacy meant was us trying to bring it to the public's attention".

Stevie looked straight at them. In her face, a certain hint of disapproval was well masked by a business expression she bore whenever their concepts made perfect sense in terms of advancing the company. Instead of voicing her concern, she therefore solemnly agreed. "Sounds like something that could work".

"Okay. So it's going to be just a two-minute sketch with a minute-long conversation", Rhett stood up to snatch a notepad and jotted a few bullet points down. "We can write a script in a couple of hours, and we could film it today, right? That gives us enough time to edit and release it at normal GMM time tomorrow".

"And it's going to be a Sunday release, which we do with the main channel anyway", Link added, encouraged by the bouncing of ideas in the room. "Could you give us some time to write then?"

Stevie nodded and got up from her chair. Even though both Rhett and Link saw that she was upset by something, until she said it out loud, they never dared bother her with questions: Stevie was not the kind of person to speak unless she knew it would bring someting to the table. Voicing her opinion in the void was not her style.

"Let me know when you're ready to shoot, I'll get the cameras ready", she said at the door and then left.

Link looked at Rhett and took a deep breath: "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No", Rhett smiled as he stood up to pull Link into a protective hug. He buried his face in Link's hair: a move that was so taboo on Thursday was all too familiar now, and it brought so much joy he couldn't resist the temptation. Link was impossibly tiny, hidden in his embrace, and even though Rhett witnessed him be so strong a couple of minutes ago, they shared the understanding of how hard it hit them both. "I'm glad we came up with an idea, bo. Everything's gonna be alright".

"Yeah", Link agreed, his voice muffled by Rhett's shirt. "Now we just have to write it down. Let's get to work".


	20. Chapter 20

"Wait, wait, so you're going to hug me", Rhett scribbled on the page. "What's your motive?"

Link stopped short and sighed. "Yeah, you're right. Okay, then... Maybe we should frame it as what happens after we shoot More? I go in to hug you or touch your arm, you flinch?"

Rhett's eyes lit up. "That's good. I stand up and claim out loud that no more contact's needed. Then we jump cut to later in the day, I touch your arm instead of your shoulder, but don't pull away immediately, and you stare at me with suspicion".

Link nodded with his smile starting to get wider. "Then we talk about it, and I complain that it's ridiculous for us not to be able to touch. We can start touching each other more and more — say, you hug me, I put my hands around your shoulders, you pull me in closer, and then we lean in for a kiss, at which point we cut ourselves short and smile into the camera".

Rhett shifted his position a bit, letting Link get more intimate as they sat next to each other on the couch. "I like it. I think it'll shape up as we shoot, but the concept is solid".

Link clung to him and put his head on Rhett's lap. "I'm glad we are not doing anything explicit. Besides ruining the reputation, it would be a total dick move towards Jessie and Christy".

"Yeah", Rhett agreed as he thoughtlessly pulled at Link's hair and stroked his ear. "It's better for the brand to keep our relationship private".

Both felt what wasn't supposed to be said out loud. They sensed the tension in how the approach was so different from their usual genuine attitude towards their online presence. Before, they could openly joke around what was thought to be artistic expression, something required for their creative style. Now, lying about it seemed not only disingenuous but straight out corrupt. The sensation of impending doom hit Rhett once again, and he instinctively clasped his fingers in Link's hair, making him wince.

"Ow. What was that for?"

"Sorry", Rhett promptly withdrew his palm and stared at it. "I just... never mind. Let's write the speech for the card".

Link did give him a suspicious look, but as neither wanted to admit what they wanted now was just to get over the whole 'coming out' thing, all that was left to do was to roll with the agreed strategy. They sighed simultaneously.

"Alright. How about this: in the modern world, we often have to fight for what we feel is right. We as two white guys have a lot of privilege, but the way society builds us into its structure is not... what we ultimately want to achieve as a community", Link started drafting the speech, and Rhett jotted some of it down.

"Yeah, a solid start. Then we can transgress into a bit of humour about how our wives can hold hands with us and each other, but we feel awkward to do it for longer than a floppy handshake", Rhett suggested. "From there, we can mention that we actually do touch each other a lot more than typical guys, and recently, we felt it was natural for us to bring it to the public's eye".

"Say something about how it is important for us to acknowledge that there doesn't need to be a reason for humans to connect", Link finished and looked up at him. "Right?"

"Yeah", Rhett smiled a bit. A wave of gratitude splashed against his anxiety and enabled him to relax more. How did it turn out to be so perfect? How did Link understand him so well? "And... Link, listen", he gulped. "Even if what we have now doesn't turn out to be what we think it is, even if at some point you grow tired of us having sex or being physical in that sense..."

Link audibly scoffed at the suggestion and punched him lightly, but didn't say anything.

"Come on, it is a possibility. We don't know what it all turns out to be, and even if it gets messy... I'm going to be fine with you touching or not touching me — either way. I guess what I want to say is... Our friendship doesn't end with intimacy. I will never want to part from you".

There. He said it out loud, the thought that burned his mind for the past hour. The paradise had its limits, and Rhett knew that however long they had the euphoria of finally holding on to the feeling of love, it would have to hit a speed bump. Everything had to. He didn't want it so badly, and that was the reason he chose to swerve preventively. Now it was Link's turn to understand.

"C'mere", he heard Link call him through the thick fog of instant fear, and as he leaned forward, the kiss that welcomed his lips dissolved all anxiety. It was impossible to not smile as Link tenderly caressed his beard.

"What you said would make sense on Friday", Link chuckled and grasped Rhett's wrist to hold it very protectively in both his hands. "But not now. If it helps you, I can make another blood oath right now. I'm not going anywhere, and whatever comes, it will be _us_ dealing with it. Don't doubt me, man".

Rhett looked deep in his eyes. When the blue wasn't tinted by Link's glasses, it shone like the brightest hue of the sky. Suddenly, it made him remember all the countless times he reviewed the footage from "The Epic Rap Battle of Manliness". To Jessie and even Link himself, Rhett explained that he wanted that video to be perfect; to himself, he quietly admitted it was because of Link's immaculate beauty and the way the lights brought out his eyes.

He even kept a still from one of the clips on his laptop, hidden in an encrypted folder. His guilty pleasure.

"I won't doubt", he promised and kissed Link's lips one more time. "Are we ready to go tell Stevie it's ready?"

Link smiled. "I think so. A rough draft, no props, just us and a couple of cameras — like the old times".

***

The video started at their desk; so familiar yet a bit alienating in the circumstances. The Wheel, brought in to make it look like they just finished shooting More, was still stuck on 'Gifticality'; the set still decorated for the holidays.

"Alright, we're ready to roll", Stevie called and looked at Jen, who came in a bit later and decided to stay until the editing was finished.

Link looked at Rhett, who was breathing deeply. "Bo, you alright?"

"Yeah, just a bit of akathisia passing", he strained to smile. "It's nothing compared to what it was yesterday, but I kinda feel it".

"Don't worry, we can wait", Link shook his head and looked back at Stevie and Jen. "Long story short, it's a side effect of the drug they gave to Rhett in the ER. Makes you feel like dying and wanting to move. At the same time".

"Ouch", Jen looked worried. "Is it constant?"

"Nah, it comes and goes", Rhett finally exhaled. "I'm fine. Let's do this", he firmly held Link's elbow and nudged him towards the desk. A smile back encouraged him.

***

_Link looks at Rhett and stretches his whole body, then trying to catch Rhett's hand and smiling. "Hey, man..."_

_"No touching", Rhett flinches and looks angry. "Enough is enough"._

_Link is displeased, but doesn't let it show. Instead, he rises from the desk. "Fine. I just wanted to offer you to go get lunch"._

_"That I can do", Rhett instantly relaxes and joins him as they go towards the door._

_————_

_Link is sitting on the couch, when Rhett plops down next to him and jokingly elbows his side. "Whatcha up to?"_

_"No touching", Link grumbles, obviously not in the mood to fool around. "Nothing. I'm up to nothing", he snaps and closes his laptop abruptly._

_"What's got into you?" Rhett pretends to not understand, but it is obvious he is hurt, too. "I just..."_

_"You just don't want anyone seeing us touching each other if it's not going to bring any views to the channel", Link scoffs. "It's going to hurt your manliness"._

_"Hey, I touch you all the time", Rhett tries to dismiss the notion, but fails miserably. "Like when..."_

_"When what? You don't allow this, and it's ridiculous. See?" Link grabs his arm and places it in between his hands. "Of all people, I am the one guy who you allow this, and it only happens on camera"._

_Rhett is shaken, but instead of getting defensive, he smirks. "Oh yeah?" He pulls Link's arms and gets playful, half-wrestling and half-hugging him. They touch each other some more, resembling cubs who discover each other for the first time; for about ten seconds, they keep silently moving their bodies in tandem. Awkward as it is, they do end up leaning in for a kiss._

_The screen fades to black._

_————_

_They are back at the desk; the end card video is playing in the corner, while the titles run down the screen._

_"Thank you for watching our new sketch. As you might have noticed from its title, we do find it ludicrous that in this day and age, we still have to overcome these difficulties even with our closest friends", Link says, staring into the camera as Rhett holds the back of his hand against Link's._

_"We have to fight what we think is right. And we know it sounds funny coming from two white guys in their thirties, but hear us out. Our wives can hold our hands for however long they want to; they can even hug each other. Meanwhile, we can't really hold hands for longer than it takes for a handshake to get awkward", Rhett continues as their fingers meet._

_"Yesterday, a video was captured of us hugging in a public place. While it wasn't us who released it, we still acknowledge its veracity", Link keeps his face straight as he looks at the audience. "And that is part of why this sketch is released today. We as two best friends want to make it clear that we think it's fine for two human beings to connect without any implications of underlying intimacy"._

_"That being said, we are still fine with being shipped", Rhett chimes in with a grin. "It's the Internet; we know it will happen. As for the platform for you shippers to build off from... I think this video provided plenty of GIFs for you, Tumblr", he laughs._

_The end card finishes with a close up of their hands next to each other with palms turned inwards and fingers going in to intertwine._


End file.
